A devotion to share with you.

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High. ~    Psalm 7:17 

Cancer survivors understand that gratitude is at the very heart of creating an atmosphere of healing. Survivors know that it is essential to be in the right state of mind to focus on hope for the journey. They believe that living thankfully and appreciatively is a profound requirement for achieving the state of well-being they seek. Being mindful of the need to find goodness and count blessings is ever-present in a survivor’s life. They focus on what is right and what is good, what is positive and what is eternal. They look beyond temporary setbacks to seek evidence of lasting answers and help. When they do they find the evidence they need.  

The more I look for the blessings you give me, dear God, the more I see signs and wonders of your amazing love. Every time I realize one good thing you do, I come to recognize there are so many more good things than I never knew before. Thank you for compounding the blessings in my life. Amen.

(Reprinted from Foundation for Cancer Research and Wellness)

I just wanted to pass on the good news I received at my doctor's visit yesterday.   I went in for a check up on my bloodwork.   All of it came back fine.   This is where he watches the white platelet counts, the hemoglobin level, and the white blood cell counts so he can determine if I need another white platelet shot or a transfusion.    He was pleased with that and how I am feeling that he moved my maintenance chemo from December 27 until January 3rd!!   Yay!   Now, I can have time off with the children during their break and not feel bad.

I asked him for further information on why I need to to the maintenance chemo.    He said that studies show in my particular case, that doing IV maintenance chemo is more successful at keeping the cancer at bay than by using the oral chemo.   He told me to look at it as people who have to take blood pressure medicine everyday and not just see at as I'm getting chemo every four to five weeks.   They need that medicine to maintain their blood pressure just like I need this to keep the cancer at bay, thus extending my life.   Many cancer survivors live with maintenance  chemo.    I heard of a person yesterday that has been getting maintenance chemo for 16 years and she lives a full life.   That's incredibly amazing to me and such encouragement to me!     I will be getting a much less amount of chemo every four to five weeks than when we were doing it every three weeks.    It will only take ten minutes for the maintenance chemo to go in, plus I will continue to get the bone strengthening medicine that takes fifteen minutes.    We're unsure how it will affect me.   He said some people are just very tired the next day and then they are fine.   Others it might affect them like it did me this time with tiredness, headache and nausea for five days.    So, we'll just have to see what happens.

I have to tell you this and then I'll close.   I felt bad from Wednesday after chemo until this Tuesday.   I started feeling better on Wednesday, so I made a list of errands I needed to run soon.   I had eleven places I needed to go, so I thought if I feel good on Thursday, I'll do half then and the other half on Friday or Saturday.   Well, I left the house with Emily at 2:00 on Thursday and we ran all 11 errands.   We got home that evening and I was still feeling good!!!!!!!!!!!   Yay!   We took time to eat a salad while we were out so I rested then and got a second wind, so off we went.   I cannot tell you how good it felt to be out and about and not feel bad or tired. I felt like the "real Molly" again.  :-)  PTL!

So when I went to the doctor on Friday, he asked me how I was feeling and I said, "I feel like a resurrected Frosty the Snowman" and he laughed.   I told him I had run 11 errands the day before and that I felt good on Friday as well.   He just grinned and said, "This is wonderful news!"   Later on, I asked him how he thought I was doing and was he pleased with my progress.   He looked at me and he said, "You told me that you ran 11 errands yesterday and felt good.   Molly, most healthy people can't run 11 errands in one day.   So, I think you're doing incredible!"   To come from where I've been these past six months, I truly have felt like a breathe of fresh wind has been put in my body and I am alive again!   To God be the Glory, Great Things He Has Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living with hope again,

Molly 

Thanks to those of you who continue to follow my blog even though I don't post often.   I really appreciate your faithfulness.  2010 has been a hard year for me, but I'll try to do better in the coming year.  Thanks for sticking with me! :-)

Blessings,

Molly

Praise Him with us.............

Hey there,

I just wanted to update you all on my visit to the surgical oncologist at Duke yesterday. She took an xray and the arm is healing just like she was hoping. PTL!  She said that I am NOT a candidate for surgery! YAY!!!!! There is calcium "caulking" growing around the the fractured area which is supporting the arm. That "caulking" will eventually fill in the fracture but it will be a slow process because I'm still doing chemo. Once the chemo stops, the body will go to work in healing up that area just like in a normal, healthy person's body. Chemo slows the healing process down in cancer patients. 

We were very relieved to hear that I am not a candidate for surgery. I will begin physical therapy the week after Thanksgiving. I probably won't ever be able to raise this arm above my head like I can with the left arm, but if we can get it up 75%, that will be good. Most people, even healthy people, don't get full use of their arm back if it gets broken where mine was broken. Surgery would not help improve those odds at all. I am just thankful I can use my arm and that I don't have to have surgery. I saw a few people up there with only one arm yesterday, so I am thankful to have both arms.

I have been given permission to drive as I feel up to it, so that is a great relief as well. Yay!

The esophagus burn is doing much better. I was able to eat chicken and brunswick stew yesterday. It was wonderful! My body is CRAVING oranges so I even ate one of those. It didn't cause acid reflux, so that was a relief!

We have so much to be thankful for today and every day. I continue to gain strength and feel more normal. I can do more than I could two weeks ago! PTL! I have one more chemo to do on 11/29. We'll do a CT scan and go from there as to whether I will have more chemo or not after the one on 11/29.

God has been so good to us! Praise His Holy Name!

Love you all,

Molly

Well, it was a long weekend around here.    We arrived at 6:30 Friday morning for the port and I didn't go back for surgery until 11:00 AM!   I'd been told there were a few people in front of me, but I didn't expect to have to wait that long.   The insertion went well, PTL!   I could feel the doctor putting the sutures in, but I was not aware of anything going on.   They put me in recovery and brought me a meal.   I was SO hungry that I broke my rule of "No more hospital food for me ever again."   I really only ate the hash brown potatoes and orange juice so it wasn't that much hospital food.  LOL!   Then they brought me a lunch meal and I ate off of that.   I have to say that the baked fish, coleslaw, and cornbread muffin were actually really good.   By Friday evening, I was in enough pain that I wondered why I signed up for the port.   Oxycodone didn't even touch the pain.   The only way to avoid the pain was to sit real still in my recliner.   So, that's where I spent the whole weekend.    I was also suffering from gastrointestinal inflammation from the radiation.   It got worse on Sunday morning.   It hurt to breathe or swallow and nothing was helping.   I called the doctor on call and did what he said to do and it calmed down some.    I knew I could see my doctor Monday, so I held out til my appointment.    He decided we couldn't do chemo today because that would just aggravate the gastro inflammation even more.   So, chemo is on hold until things calm down.   Radiation is on hold for the same reason.   He gave me some fluids and nausea medicine in an iv and that has helped me feel better this evening.    He also gave me some medicine (Carafate) to coat the esophagus so it can heal.   The esophagus has a sunburn from the radiation.    I will have more fluids this week and a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin level is low.    

The nurse was able to use my port this afternoon.   I am now convinced I made the right decision to have this done.   It pinched, but it was a lot better than a med tech digging around trying to find my veins!!!  :-)

So, several unexpected things to deal with but I am reminding myself that these have not caught the Lord off guard.   He is ordering my steps through this ordeal.   Pray I can rest in the assurance that He is in control, not me.   

Thanks for your faithful prayers, dear friends!

Love,

Molly

Update on CT scan and other things

I just wanted to update you all. The CT scan shows the tumor is SHRINKING!!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord! My doctor is very pleased. He can see where the chemo is actually working on the left scapula and healing it. That area has not been hurting in a long time, so that must be why.   Also, praise the Lord that there is nothing new seen on the CT of the chest!  

I had my third chemo treatment today and that went well. I also was able to get the PICC line removed so now I have my left arm back in full use. Another praise! I can take a real shower in a couple of days! Yahoo!!! 

I will go back on Friday to get a shot of Neulasta which is the same shot that I had last month after chemo. It's the one that boosts white platelets so I don't end up in the hospital again.

There was mention today that I might begin radiation sooner than later so please be praying about that. Pray that there will be minimal side effects from it. The area they will be radiating is near the esophagus and I've heard of people having trouble with radiation in that area. I will be getting low doses of radiation for 15 days.

There was a problem on Friday with getting the port put in. My white platelets were too high due to the fact that I had a shot of Neulasta, which builds up white platelets. Now I will get the port put in on November 1st. Dr. Walker has already sent in the order and highlighted that the white platelets will be high because I am getting shots of Neulasta. I could've actually had it done this past Friday but the nurse didn't call Dr. Walker to question why the white platelets would be so high. 

Another praise is that I have been able to use less pain medicine. This also shows us that the chemo is working throughout the body to heal it. 

Thank you again for your faithful prayers! Rejoice with us about this good news! God is good!

Love you all,

Molly

An Update on Me.........

Well, I'll try to be brief, but that may be hard.   Lots of things have happened with me since my last post.   The MRI I have last three hours!!!  I was so tired of laying in the same position and it was FREEZING in there!   I was glad I had taken 20 mgs. of Valium before I went in.   Trust me, I needed every mg.   I'm a trooper with the CT scans now and they don't bother me.   Yay God!   The results from those tests didn't reveal anything new, just confirmed what we already knew, so that was actually a praise!   The cancer has spread to my thoraic area and I will be having radiation on that area.   I have changed doctors since my last post as well.   This doctor is a lung cancer specialist and I just love him.    He's a precious man, very compassionate and such a fighter for my life!  I am thankful the Lord led us to him.    I've had two chemo treatments since I posted.   The first one was a whammer and made me really sick.   I spent 11 days in the hospital.    My white platelets took a nosedive and it took a while to get them back up so I could get out of the hospital.    Apparently my body can not handle the level of drugs he gave me the first time, so he rearranged things for the second chemo and so far things are going fairly well.    I am having some nausea and tiredness, but so far none of the symptoms I had with the first chemo. I can tell you that I don't like hospitals.     I've never been away from my children more than three days, so that was very sad and depressing for me.   Hospitals are lonely and depressing.   I was blessed with great nurses who genuinely care about their patients.   I came away with a great respect for healthcare works in general.   They all earn ever dime they make.   Most everybody on my floor worked 12-14 hour shifts and were still kind when they left in the evening or morning. I don't know if I could be that good.  LOL!    Those workers are on their feet most of their shift, constantly meeting patient needs.   Kuddos to the healthcare workers!

Well, that about sums up what's been going on with me.   Please continue to pray for complete healing from all this.   Pray my broken humerus heals properly, that the next chemo treatments go well and that they kill the cancer cells.    I am so ready to get back to my normal way of living.   I've been sleeping in a recliner due to my broken arm since July.   It helps to have it propped up and having support behind my back helps keep the pain at bay.   Pray for my family as they deal with the stress of all of this.   It's taking it's toil on us all, but we are trying to persevere through the test.

Also, please pray for a special older friend of mine who was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago.   She's a precious, wise Christian woman who loves the Lord immensely.    Pray they caught it in time and that she will get well.    I'm not ready for her to meet Jesus yet.   She's a widow also, so pray she can get the help she needs as she recovers.

May God bless each of you as you seek His face and walk with Him!

Blessings,

Molly

I'm still here.  I've been very busy with summer activities,  trying to do some catching up around the house, and do school planning.  I have been enduring several health issues as well, so I have been trying to get well from those.   I'm learning that it is VERY HARD to walk through trials, especially several at a time, when you don't feel well.   I have either fractured or broken my arm and am waiting for an MRI on Friday morning as the doctor thinks there is something suspicious on the xray.  It's hard to type with one hand, so I doubt I'll be on here much.  Please pray for good MRI results and that what he sees is nothing but scar tissue from a lesion that was in the same area.  I honestly am tired from all these trials and am trying to live what I have shared on this blog.   Some days I just fail, but I am still human.  It's hard to count it all joy when you face trials.  Some days I can walk this walk of faith and some days I battle my mind in a BIG way!  Thanks for letting me be transparent and real and share how it really is right now.

Your prayers are appreciated!

Blessings until I post again -

Molly

Perfect and timely devotion for this season

"Now to him who is able to keep you from falling" …  Jude 24a

When the bottom is dropping out, we have a source of strength that can keep us from falling all the way.  God is our safety net, a very present help in times of trouble.   When we feel as if we cannot find our footing again, God catches us and carries us when we cannot walk the path on our own.  When we find ourselves in a free fall, there are arms already reaching out for us to lift us from our distress.

When I think about it, I do know that you have reached out to catch me before, dear God.  I have been rescued in more ways than I can count.  I am grateful for that and I pray for the help to remember those times more and more each day.  Amen. 

Blessings,

Molly

Just need to say this....

I've received comments since I started this blog about how strong I am and what a great attitude I have about all of this.   I just need to say that I don't want anyone to think I have conquered this situation.  I do have days where I am really battling my flesh while fighting this fight.   I have had times where I have soared through the day with amazing faith.  I have also had times where I am down in the dumps and fighting hard to walk by faith.   This is by far the hardest thing I've ever walked through.   These posts are written to encourage myself as well as anyone who reads this blog.   I often go back and read through them to remind myself where we have come from so I can see God's faithfulness in this journey.   I must remind myself of the great things God has done for us and what I've learned through this.   I'm thankful that my Father is strong when I am weak.  I'm also thankful that He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me.  He is with me always.    May God continue to grant us strength for the journeys we find ourselves walking.  

Blessings,

Molly

Consider it joy when you face trials of any kind.

When we found out I had cancer, I can tell you that we experienced a peace that went beyond understanding.   It enveloped our whole being.   I had never experienced that kind of peace before, but it was very precious.   It gave me the energy I needed to press through each day, to have an attitude of gratitude and joy for each new day I was given, and to be able to deal with the unknown future we were facing.   It was a precious gift.   I still have peace, just not the same level as when all this first happened.   God has been very good to us and I'm so thankful for the grace He gives us.  I'd like to share this devotion with you.   May it encourage you along the way!

"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy."

 ~  James 1:2
Don’t mistake what this passage means. No one expects you to be happy about your difficulties.  The word happy comes from the word “happenstance”, meaning our feelings depend on what happens to us.  But we are expected to strive for joy.  Joy is a sense of well-being, a sense of security, a sense of peace, no matter what happens to us.  Joy is the feeling we want to achieve.  Joy is feeling secure and content in every situation, in every challenge and in every way, knowing that God is taking care of us even in the most difficult of days.

God of joy, help me to know your peace which passes understanding.  Help me to feel your security beyond compare.  Help me to be well within my spirit no matter what challenges come my way. Amen. 

May your day be blessed beyond measure -

Molly

An attitude of gratitude

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." ~   Philippians 4: 8

Our thoughts have deep significance to our well-being.  When we put our focus and energy on what is wrong in our lives we do nothing but stand against something.  It paralyzes us when we are focused on all the bad in our lives.  But when we put our attention on all that is good, on all that is right, it helps our attitude change and it changes our lives.   There's enough bad going on in the world today that affects our lives daily IF we let it.   We must make a choice to have an attitude of gratitude every single day.    An attitude of joy and gratitude will always enable us to do so much more than one of opposition and defiance.  Each new day is truly a precious gift!

Thank you, Lord, for the infinite ways in which my life is good.  Help me to focus on them so I see my life in a more positive and triumphant way.  Amen.

Blessings,

Molly

Reflecting on what JOY truly is.....

In this busy life we live, it's easy to get caught up in all that busyness and lose sight of the purpose so quickly.   I recently received this in an email and wanted to share it with you.

Here’s how to take back the joy you’ve lost: 

1.  Understand what joy is 
Joy is not the absence of problems or stress.  We all have troubles in daily life.  Joy is the understanding that in spite of those troubles, we know we will be okay.  It is holding onto a sense of peace and strength, security and ultimately goodness, even in the center of the storms.  It is an intangible feeling that we will be carried through until we reach the other side, until better days come.  It is a feeling of serenity that we are not alone, nor will ever be left all alone, to face our struggles and fears.  Joy is the gift of peace that comes from knowing that no matter what happens to us, we are being given the ability to get through the challenge, to grow, to emerge to a better and healthier life.  Joy is one of the best gifts we can ever create and receive.

2.  Reflect on joyful moments Even if you are going through a painful period right now in your life, make an intentional effort to think about the positive, touching, grateful moments you feel.  Those moments do come to us every day.  Even in the midst of sad, challenging or devastating times, there are always at least little moments of light and grace that temper the difficulties and bring some balance into each day.

3.  Create time for joy now If only for 10 minutes at a time - take a short walk, read a magazine article or story, watch children play, listen to some favorite music, view a part of a funny TV show, stare into space, look at a photo album, concentrate on something beautiful in nature allow yourself to focus on what pleases you.  It will help you to transcend for that time the stresses you are facing.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. - Romans 12:12

I wanted to share this devotion with you.   I pray it will encourage you as you press on to run the race that is set before you.   


Sometimes the key to survival is simply "setting our jaw" and going on faithfully trusting that God is there helping us, despite the apparent and outward circumstances. Choosing joy through hope rather than despair, choosing patient endurance in times of affliction, and choosing faithfulness in prayer are all decisions of the will trusting that the God who raised Jesus from the dead can also change our circumstances because he hears our voice.

PRAYER:
Create in me, O Mighty God, a resolute and steadfast heart so that I might persevere with joy no matter what the difficulty. This I ask in the name of your faithful Son. Amen.


Blessings,


Molly

Just wanted to post a quick note to let you know that I'll start posting again soon.   It's been a crazy spring around our house.   Ever since March came, things have just been busy.   I'm doing okay.   I'm having some back pain due to my rib cage being out of whack, but with some physical therapy, it's getting stronger.   I gave my testimony back in April to a ladies' group.   That went really well.   I was thankful the Lord calmed my nerves and spoke through me.   I haven't spoken to a large group in a long time, so it was definitely the Lord working in me.   The "old me" wouldn't have signed up for that.  :-)

Hope all is well!

Blessings,

Molly

The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayer. ~ Psalm 6:9

Actually, God hears all our prayers.  God's ears are never closed and he never turns away from our cries for help.  We do not need to be concerned that God doesn’t care.  He knows and understands our deepest concerns and our most essential needs.   There is nothing we can or need to hide from God.  He wants us to lay our anxieties and apprehensions down at His feet.   He wants to carry our burdens and tells us over and over that we are not to worry.    I'm thinking that if he mentions it over and over in His word, that it is pretty important to Him that we give up those areas of concern.    God recognizes all that disquiets us and assures us of listening so that we may know we are not alone.  Our prayers are never in vain.  In fact, God knows our needs even before we ask, and is already at work responding to those needs and giving us new life again.   Doesn't that give you  great peace and assurance of God’s devoted attention and acceptance?

Lord, it is a great reassurance to know that you understand the cries of my heart and reach out to answer me even before I turn to you.  I am deeply grateful that you know me so well – and love me so much.  Amen. 

The Lord is my Shepherd.....

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.     -- Psalm 23:1-3
   
This verse gives me great comfort.   He restores my soul.  That sounds so good. But it is more than talk.  When we've reached that point where we can't go on, God blesses us with strength to just keep on walking. When we're in a struggle and things are tough, his power upholds us and we run to victory. When we're winning victories in his name, we can soar on wings like eagles. He is a shepherd and more. He is the Rock and Sustainer of our lives!  I've found this to be so true this past year!   I have a permanent vision of a winding road in my mind.   It has beautiful fall leaves on the trees on either side.  The road is rocky.   The Lord is at the end of the road encouraging me to keep walking, keep trusting, telling me to keep my focus on Him, not to look to the left or the right.   As long as I do that, I can keep walking by faith.   It's when I look to the left or the right that my circumstances overtake me and I get anxious.

Lord, help me rest tonight in your grace and in the confidence that you are nearby. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." - Luke 6:36

Thank God that his mercies are new every morning!   One of the things I learned early on after my diagnosis is that the Lord LOVES US SO MUCH that we can barely fathom His love.   I am SO thankful that He loves me unconditionally.   He knows when I'm going to mess up and yet, He still loves me.   Praise God for his mercy!


He wants to draw us closer to Him and it is truly through the valleys that we learn to draw close to Him, not when life is smooth sailing.   Cancer is a message to change.   I'm so thankful the Lord is doing "spring cleaning" and rebuilding me to be more like Him.


Here is a devotion that I received this morning that I wanted to share with you.   Even if you haven't been diagnosed with an illness, these are still wonderful words of wisdom.  I pray this ministers to your spirit.


When we judge and react harshly to ourselves and others we place burdens on our hearts and souls that we don’t need.  When we hold onto and keep mental lists of weaknesses, slights and faults we diminish ourselves and others.  It takes entirely too much energy to focus on imperfections and failings.  It weakens our spirits and inhibits our healing.  God gave us the command to forgive and show mercy because God knows it is best for us.  We are strongest when we can release tension and pain, when regret and disappointment can be lifted and when we can move on forever from bitterness and hostility.  Cancer is a message to change.  The most significant of the changes can occur when we clear ourselves of everything that eats at our souls.  We need that energy instead to focus on getting well and being whole again.


Merciful God, I know I need to learn so much from you.  Your gracious and forgiving nature toward me shows me how I need to live my life with others.  I pray that I will have the strength of conviction and purpose to do what I know is best.  Amen.

Bless the Lord, O My Soul

"Bless the Lord, O my soul,

...who forgives all your iniquities..."v.3

"Who redeems your life from destruction..."v.4

"The Lord is merciful and gracious,

Slow to anger,

and abounding in mercy..."v.8

"He has not dealt with us

according to our sins,

Nor punished us according to our iniquities...."v.10

"As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions

from us..." v.12 ~Psalm 103

To Shine Like Gold

"He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside." -  Job 23:10-11
  
How we long for this to be our true confession. God wants us to shine like gold.   We are not yet gold, but long to be.  The refining process is a work in progress.    We are not yet fully following his steps, but we are trying.    We try to not turn aside, but we sometimes falter.  I am thankful for God's grace until our intentions and desires are fulfilled in our walk with Him!

O Lord, I confess my sin and my inadequacy in following your paths. Forgive me as I recommit my life to serve you in holiness and joy. Thank you for your grace which covers my sin and perfects in me the character of Jesus.  Amen.

"The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want." Psalm 23:1

In ancient times, when this psalm was written, those who heard these words would have instinctively known how significant the image of a shepherd was.  A shepherd would protect and guide his sheep.  A shepherd would lift them from dangerous places and carry them when they could not walk themselves.  A shepherd would literally put himself between a dangerous predator and his sheep, placing himself in harm’s way for them.  A shepherd’s job was to make certain that no sheep would be lost and that every one would make it back home safely.  God is like a shepherd.  God will do anything for us to help and save us.  God wants none of us to be harmed or lost.  With this kind of God we will not lack anything we need, no matter how hard the journey.

With you as my shepherd, caring God, I am reminded that I need never be lost.  When I find myself confused and feeling alone, not certain which way to go, not sure if there is any hope, you come to carry and protect me.  I am much better for that.  Amen.

Wow, another month has flown by and I haven't posted in a while.

Life has been challenging lately.   In the past month I've dealt with kidney stones and a UTI.   I got over that and two weeks later I had a bladder infection.   Those were pretty tough because in the midst of it all, I was reliving what happened last year this same time.  I found myself really struggling to fight off being depressed on top of being sick with the infections.   I had to take two rounds of antibiotics so that made my irritable bowel syndrome flare up.   I felt like I was getting knocked down every time I could stand up.   I finally relented and asked for prayer.   I knew I couldn't pull myself out of the depths of depression without God and my faithful prayer warriors.   God always knows who we need to have for strength and support.   We can count on Him supplying people in real life who will love us and pray us through the storms of life.    He is faithful like that.  :-)

I had my regular followup appointment with my oncologist.   He continues to be pleased with my progress.   He spoke words of life and truth to me that day straight from the Lord.   I had shared with him the past two months of trials and frustrations.   He was very comforting as well as encouraging.   I felt much better having talked to him and getting some new perspective on life.

So, I am pressing on, moving forward, step by step, walking by faith, trusting in Him and His plan for our lives.   I'm so glad He is in control and that I don't have to worry about the "what ifs".   I'm so glad I can cast those onto Him.   All He desires is for me to spend time with Him, seeking His direction, getting to know Him better, trusting in Him, and walking by faith.

May our days be filled with joy as we seek after Him -

Molly

Walking through dark moments

This journey I'm on is not an easy one.   Ever since I announced that my tumor has shrunk to 1/2 inch the end of December, the enemy has been on my heels.   I've been dealing with kidney stones and inflamed diverticuli.   I've struggled with depression.   It's so hard to fight this fight when you don't feel good.   I've struggled this whole month because it's the month I found out about my cancer last year.   Yes, God has been good and so very faithful.   He has been my strength and seen me/us through last year.   I think it's stirred up a mixed bag of emotions.   I've seen his hand move in my life in mighty ways, ways I've never experienced before and that is overwhelming in itself.   He has answered so many prayers and yet, I am still afraid of what the future holds.   I've struggled with fear and anxiety this month.   I don't want anyone who reads this blog to think it's all been easy.   This is HARD!   My family is affected daily by all of this.   Our lives have been turned upside down.   Our routines and schedules aren't what they were a year ago.   Nothing is the same here.   It's all a "new normal".   I've struggled with my perspective on all of this lately.   I must choose to keep my focus on Jesus, and right now, that is minute by minute.    I can't look to the left or the right.   He knows what I can handle even when I don't.   I'm so glad He already knows all this about me and knows how to help me as I cry out to Him.

Sharing from the heart,

Molly

Great is Thy Faithfulness

As I reflect over the past year, I am pondering of all the ways God has blessed me.   There have been many difficult days this past year, but He was with me through each hard step along the way.  He was with me in the good steps as well.  I'm reminded of the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and all that I have to be grateful for of my Heavenly Father.  No matter what goes on in our lives, He is always there, ever faithful. He keeps His promises to us. He promises that He “will never fail you or abandon you” (Heb. 13:5b). And He continuously provides for our needs, both great and small.   Reflect on the words of this hymn and give thanks for all that He has done in your life in the past year.


Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;

As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!


Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.


Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!


Blessings,

Molly

I heard from the radiologist this afternoon.....

The report shows that the tissue in question is indeed healing tissue and not tissue that is spreading. This is wonderful news!!!!!!!! He also commented that there were a few lesions in the right lung and they are almost non existent! We'll stay the course and hope that the next CT scan shows even better results. Needless to say, we're all doing the happy dance at our house! Praise God with us!


Living with hope,

Molly

As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year.....

… that he has shown them according to his mercy, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
 ~ Isaiah 63:7c

Today on this last day of this year as I reflect on how generous God has been and is to us. As we look back on the year and all that’s happened to us, there are lots of mixed feelings.  We've had our struggles and fears.   We've had heartache and pain.  We have been touched with rest and relief; as well as moments of joy and comfort too. While it’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, we must refocus on what has gone right. God has joined us and is accompanying us on this journey.  He understands our distress.  He is bringing help in every moment of need.  This is cause for celebration and relief!

As this year closes and another is about to begin, help me Lord to not  focus just on what has been hard for me. Instead help me find  encouragement and hope in recounting all that has blessed and uplifted me this year. There are more blessings than I can say. Thank you, O God. Amen.