This journey I'm on is not an easy one. Ever since I announced that my tumor has shrunk to 1/2 inch the end of December, the enemy has been on my heels. I've been dealing with kidney stones and inflamed diverticuli. I've struggled with depression. It's so hard to fight this fight when you don't feel good. I've struggled this whole month because it's the month I found out about my cancer last year. Yes, God has been good and so very faithful. He has been my strength and seen me/us through last year. I think it's stirred up a mixed bag of emotions. I've seen his hand move in my life in mighty ways, ways I've never experienced before and that is overwhelming in itself. He has answered so many prayers and yet, I am still afraid of what the future holds. I've struggled with fear and anxiety this month. I don't want anyone who reads this blog to think it's all been easy. This is HARD! My family is affected daily by all of this. Our lives have been turned upside down. Our routines and schedules aren't what they were a year ago. Nothing is the same here. It's all a "new normal". I've struggled with my perspective on all of this lately. I must choose to keep my focus on Jesus, and right now, that is minute by minute. I can't look to the left or the right. He knows what I can handle even when I don't. I'm so glad He already knows all this about me and knows how to help me as I cry out to Him.
Sharing from the heart,
Molly
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Great is Thy Faithfulness
As I reflect over the past year, I am pondering of all the ways God has blessed me. There have been many difficult days this past year, but He was with me through each hard step along the way. He was with me in the good steps as well. I'm reminded of the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and all that I have to be grateful for of my Heavenly Father. No matter what goes on in our lives, He is always there, ever faithful. He keeps His promises to us. He promises that He “will never fail you or abandon you” (Heb. 13:5b). And He continuously provides for our needs, both great and small. Reflect on the words of this hymn and give thanks for all that He has done in your life in the past year.
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Refrain
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Blessings,
Molly
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Refrain
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Blessings,
Molly
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I heard from the radiologist this afternoon.....
The report shows that the tissue in question is indeed healing tissue and not tissue that is spreading. This is wonderful news!!!!!!!! He also commented that there were a few lesions in the right lung and they are almost non existent! We'll stay the course and hope that the next CT scan shows even better results. Needless to say, we're all doing the happy dance at our house! Praise God with us!
Living with hope,
Molly
Living with hope,
Molly
Friday, January 1, 2010
As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year.....
… that he has shown them according to his mercy, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
~ Isaiah 63:7c
Today on this last day of this year as I reflect on how generous God has been and is to us. As we look back on the year and all that’s happened to us, there are lots of mixed feelings. We've had our struggles and fears. We've had heartache and pain. We have been touched with rest and relief; as well as moments of joy and comfort too. While it’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, we must refocus on what has gone right. God has joined us and is accompanying us on this journey. He understands our distress. He is bringing help in every moment of need. This is cause for celebration and relief!
As this year closes and another is about to begin, help me Lord to not focus just on what has been hard for me. Instead help me find encouragement and hope in recounting all that has blessed and uplifted me this year. There are more blessings than I can say. Thank you, O God. Amen.
~ Isaiah 63:7c
Today on this last day of this year as I reflect on how generous God has been and is to us. As we look back on the year and all that’s happened to us, there are lots of mixed feelings. We've had our struggles and fears. We've had heartache and pain. We have been touched with rest and relief; as well as moments of joy and comfort too. While it’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, we must refocus on what has gone right. God has joined us and is accompanying us on this journey. He understands our distress. He is bringing help in every moment of need. This is cause for celebration and relief!
As this year closes and another is about to begin, help me Lord to not focus just on what has been hard for me. Instead help me find encouragement and hope in recounting all that has blessed and uplifted me this year. There are more blessings than I can say. Thank you, O God. Amen.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I just want to shout!!!!
I had a CT scan done today to see how things are progressing with my treatment. The doctor just called with the results. He said everything looks VERY GOOD! He said the tumor has shrunk from 2 inches to a 1/2 inch! Praise God!!!!! I do need ya'll to pray about one thing though. The radiologist doesn't have anything to compare with so I'm to get a copy of the previous MRI to them next week. From the radiologist report, there are areas that look like metastatis, but my doctor talked to the radiologist and they agreed that because I'm doing so well, that more than likely (notice emphasis) it is where healing is taking place or scar tissue. My doctor told me not to worry because he said it is hard to distinguish this in the lung especially if you don't have anything to compare it to. The radiologist agreed with him that if it has metastasized, we would be seeing symptoms of that and we're not. Remember all this started with back pain and I have NO pain in my body!! Praise God!!
So, please continue to pray that when the radiologist sees the previous MRI and compares this to the CT next week, that he will confirm that this is healing tissue, not metastatis. I'll let you know as soon as I know.
As we wrap up the year, it's been an extraordinary year to say the least. God has been so good to us and has never left us to walk this path alone. I've never felt his presence like I have this year. The peace that passes all understanding has been a gift He has given to us, one I can't quite explain, but know it has been so precious. The lessons we've learned, the prayers we've seen answered, the love we've experienced, the grace He has given to sustain us have been a gift. I know people think I'm crazy when I say that this cancer diagnosis has been a gift, but when you really think about it, it is. I've learned to rely on the Father in a way I have never known before. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. We're in the palm of His hand, right where He wants us to be.
For each prayer you've prayed for us, for the phone calls, the emails, the cards, and other expressions of love and concern, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. This year will not be forgotten. It's all written down on paper. Who knows, one day it might be a book. My prayer is that He receives all the glory for the great things He has done. My spirit just shouts on the inside with excitement about all He has done and will do in the future! "I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord, the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, because of all the Lord has done for us,"… Isaiah 63:7a,b
May the New Year be one where we all find ourselves seeking His face more each day, drawing closer to Him, and learning to walk closer with Him! May it be filled with love, joy, peace, and good health for each of us! Thanks for sharing the journey with us!
Living with hope,
Molly
So, please continue to pray that when the radiologist sees the previous MRI and compares this to the CT next week, that he will confirm that this is healing tissue, not metastatis. I'll let you know as soon as I know.
As we wrap up the year, it's been an extraordinary year to say the least. God has been so good to us and has never left us to walk this path alone. I've never felt his presence like I have this year. The peace that passes all understanding has been a gift He has given to us, one I can't quite explain, but know it has been so precious. The lessons we've learned, the prayers we've seen answered, the love we've experienced, the grace He has given to sustain us have been a gift. I know people think I'm crazy when I say that this cancer diagnosis has been a gift, but when you really think about it, it is. I've learned to rely on the Father in a way I have never known before. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. We're in the palm of His hand, right where He wants us to be.
For each prayer you've prayed for us, for the phone calls, the emails, the cards, and other expressions of love and concern, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. This year will not be forgotten. It's all written down on paper. Who knows, one day it might be a book. My prayer is that He receives all the glory for the great things He has done. My spirit just shouts on the inside with excitement about all He has done and will do in the future! "I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord, the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, because of all the Lord has done for us,"… Isaiah 63:7a,b
May the New Year be one where we all find ourselves seeking His face more each day, drawing closer to Him, and learning to walk closer with Him! May it be filled with love, joy, peace, and good health for each of us! Thanks for sharing the journey with us!
Living with hope,
Molly
Monday, December 28, 2009
Answer me when I call, O God of my right! ~ Psalm 4:1a
In so many of our lives today, when we phone others we get busy signals. Or we quickly get put on hold. Or our calls are screened. Or we must navigate through a dozen messages in order to reach who we need. Or we have to leave a message that never gets returned. It's especially frustrating when we are seeking answers that directly impact on our health and lives. In our desperation and anxiety we want to reach the ones who can help us without complication or delay. But with God it is not complicated. With God there is no delay. Because God is already at work even before we ask or know what to ask. God is the One whose line is always open, who never screens us and who is never too busy to hear.
I remember that you are always listening, even when I am not calling to you. Your ear is already waiting for my voice. Your hands are already creating a solution for me. Thank you for always being ready for me, O God. Amen.
In so many of our lives today, when we phone others we get busy signals. Or we quickly get put on hold. Or our calls are screened. Or we must navigate through a dozen messages in order to reach who we need. Or we have to leave a message that never gets returned. It's especially frustrating when we are seeking answers that directly impact on our health and lives. In our desperation and anxiety we want to reach the ones who can help us without complication or delay. But with God it is not complicated. With God there is no delay. Because God is already at work even before we ask or know what to ask. God is the One whose line is always open, who never screens us and who is never too busy to hear.
I remember that you are always listening, even when I am not calling to you. Your ear is already waiting for my voice. Your hands are already creating a solution for me. Thank you for always being ready for me, O God. Amen.
Friday, December 18, 2009
This was my devotion for today. I think it is a pretty powerful one.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power." ~ Ephesians 6:10
Trust. Confidence. Resolve. Hope. A positive vision. These things are of God. They give us strength. They empower us. They supply us with the courage to face the uncertain future before us. We need each of these things to help us react to all that lies ahead with a healthy attitude and with grace. The gifts we need for healing, like these, all come from the One who is an endless source of support and sustenance for us. We do not have to travel on this road alone, left to our own limited knowledge and skills. But we can certainly rely on God to supply us with every gift necessary to find exactly what we need.
I can't do this alone, O Lord. I need your power to help me find my way. Don't let me try to find healing without you. Remind me of my own limitations and of your infinite care and love. Amen.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power." ~ Ephesians 6:10
Trust. Confidence. Resolve. Hope. A positive vision. These things are of God. They give us strength. They empower us. They supply us with the courage to face the uncertain future before us. We need each of these things to help us react to all that lies ahead with a healthy attitude and with grace. The gifts we need for healing, like these, all come from the One who is an endless source of support and sustenance for us. We do not have to travel on this road alone, left to our own limited knowledge and skills. But we can certainly rely on God to supply us with every gift necessary to find exactly what we need.
I can't do this alone, O Lord. I need your power to help me find my way. Don't let me try to find healing without you. Remind me of my own limitations and of your infinite care and love. Amen.
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