Saturday, January 23, 2010

Walking through dark moments

This journey I'm on is not an easy one.   Ever since I announced that my tumor has shrunk to 1/2 inch the end of December, the enemy has been on my heels.   I've been dealing with kidney stones and inflamed diverticuli.   I've struggled with depression.   It's so hard to fight this fight when you don't feel good.   I've struggled this whole month because it's the month I found out about my cancer last year.   Yes, God has been good and so very faithful.   He has been my strength and seen me/us through last year.   I think it's stirred up a mixed bag of emotions.   I've seen his hand move in my life in mighty ways, ways I've never experienced before and that is overwhelming in itself.   He has answered so many prayers and yet, I am still afraid of what the future holds.   I've struggled with fear and anxiety this month.   I don't want anyone who reads this blog to think it's all been easy.   This is HARD!   My family is affected daily by all of this.   Our lives have been turned upside down.   Our routines and schedules aren't what they were a year ago.   Nothing is the same here.   It's all a "new normal".   I've struggled with my perspective on all of this lately.   I must choose to keep my focus on Jesus, and right now, that is minute by minute.    I can't look to the left or the right.   He knows what I can handle even when I don't.   I'm so glad He already knows all this about me and knows how to help me as I cry out to Him.

Sharing from the heart,

Molly

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