Someone shared this with me after my diagnosis. I have carried it with me ever since, so I can read through it when I need some encouragement. Take a few minutes to ponder on what it really says. It's given me great peace as I've walked this journey.

"There is nothing--no circumstance, no trouble, no testing--that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret--for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is--That is the rest of victory! -Alan Redpath

He is faithful and worthy to be praised!

God has proven himself faithful to us in the past few weeks of this journey. The Body of Christ has provided a freezer full of meals, sent emails, brought flowers to cheer us, sent cards, visited with us, prayed with us, sent gifts in the mail. There is not a day that somebody doesn't make contact with us. We are definitely overwhelmed by the love of Christ that is being shown to us through the Body of Christ. There are days when all I can do is cry. I've never cried such big tears and they just fall out of my eyes. I wipe them and more fall out. I've never felt such love before and it is overwhelming. We feel the peace that passes all understanding as we walk this path. My heart is so full of peace that some days I feel like it will bust. Our lives are in His his hands. His ways are not our ways. This is truly a walk of faith and trust. Learning to lean on Him in ways never known to us before. We know we are being lifted up to the Father because we have such peace. In the beginning, we asked for prayer that the Lord would increase our faith. He has been faithful!

"The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble,
And those who know Your Name will put their trust in You:
For you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You!"
Psalm 9:9-10

The PET scan shows I have 4 cm size lung cancer. I've never smoked, but lived with two smoking parents. The cancer drained into my spine and began eating my bones. This has happened since October 19 until January 15. We can see the changes on the xrays. The previous two times I threw my back out in early summer, my spine was perfect and that was also in a location higher up in my mid back. So, the time I fell off the steps, the bones had weakened in my lower spine. As my primary care doctor said, "I believe God orchestrated that fall so that you could move on to the next doctor who could get you a diagnosis as to why you're still having nerve pain." It is truly amazing to look back and see how God has worked it all out. So, the recommedation is to begin radiation next Monday for fourteen days on my lower spine that is being eaten up by the cancer. They will also do a CT scan next week using a needle bioposy to get a piece of the lung cancer, so we'll know what kind we're dealing with. The doctor can figure out what chemotherapy he will use and that will start sometime in the next few weeks. We were surprised it was lung cancer since I've never smoked, but we are so grateful that it is small and caught early on.

We covet your prayers and are so thankful for the calls, emails, and prayers that you have lifted to the Father on our behalf in the past few weeks. The Body of Christ has truly surrounded us with His love and we are very grateful.

God has a plan for all of this and of course, I'd never have chosen this path, but we have full assurance that He knows what He is doing. Our lives are His completely and we will rest in His arms as He travels with us in this journey.

It's been a crazy day and I've been up since 3 AM, so I hope this makes sense. We didn't get the results we had expected on Monday at the orthopedist. Because they found four hot spots on the whole body scan, he is concerned that there is something eating up my bones. He says we have to rule out cancer somewhere in my body, so we'll go to the oncologist this Thursday at 2:20 and go from there. It was quite a shock to us. A friend of ours works at the ortho's office and he fitted me for a back brace, and prayed with us. The Lord reminded him of a testimony he had heard that really touched him. A woman gave her testimony and said when people would ask her what they could do for her, she responded, "pray for more faith" . She said that no matter what happens, she would need more faith. So that is our prayer request, pray for more faith. The ortho wanted me to go to my primary care physician this morning so he is in the loop of what is going on and to get a game plan.

My husband and I went to the primary care physician this morning and feel MUCH encouraged after talking to him. He said this situation does not always mean it's cancer. There are a number of things that can cause it (we didn't hear this yesterday). He said when doctors see this kind of report, they have to figure out what is causing the "hot spots" on the bone scan. They are required by the ins. company to hunt it down.

I also saw the chiropractor to get his viewpoint. He had reviewed my xrays from July and August. They were the same in the L5 area. He didn't do one in October when I fell because I could not even stand up straight when I came in. I got better, we didn't do another xray because I improved there wasn't any reason to. He has seen the MRI, CT scan, whole body scan results. He says there is a difference in what he saw in August xray and what he sees in the ortho's xray. There is definitely a compressed disc, which could've (probably) happened when I fell. He said when drs see "hot spots" they have to hunt for the cancer due to insurance reasons. It's just the process of what has to happen. So, that confirms what the primary care physician said this morning also.

We will go to see the oncologist on Thursday. Our primary care physician knows the oncologists there and that was a relief and answer to prayer.

We told the children this morning and they received it well. We told them that this is another opportunity to learn to trust Him more. Interestingly, they have been studying the book of James.

It's been a much better day and both of us are encouraged tonight about what we've found out today from the primary care physician and the chiropractor. I am not as bewildered by it all as I was last night. It was so hard to wrap our minds around the information we had rec'd. We both have peace tonight, praise God! We have seen the hand of God working today and yesterday. He is not caught off guard and he has our full attention! :-)

We appreciate any prayers at this time. Prayer for wisdom for the doctor and if there is something there that it would be found quickly.



Trusting in Him,

Molly

The journey began back this fall....

On October 21, 2008, I fell down a step and hurt my back. We iced it and it felt fine the next day. On October 23, I could hardly walk, so we went to see the doctor, who prescribed some medicine for the inflammation. That medicine helped a lot. I went to the chiropractor for two weeks and it began to get better. In January, I still had some leg nerve pain and lower back pain that just wouldn't heal, so my doctor ordered an MRI.

This blog is a journal of my life as I walk by faith through cancer. My hope is that it will be an encouragement to you as the Lord works in my life. May He be glorified as I record the journey.