To God Be the Glory!

This week marks two years since I found out I had cancer. I cannot let this time go by without giving Him praise as we stand in awe at what the Lord has done in these past two years. Doctors will tell you all the statistics, etc., but we chose to not listen to them. I AM NOT A STATISTIC in God's eyes and I refuse to listen to the what if's and predictions that the doctors say about my situation. As a friend told me early on in this walk, only God knows the day He will call each of us home. 

One of the things that we've learned through this journey has been to truly be thankful for each day and use it for His glory serving Him, doing His will and walking with Him. Each day is not a guarantee, but truly a gift from above. It's so easy to get caught up on the merry go round of things that life throws at us, that we begin to keep God at arm's length and then He is put further and further away. He wants to be involved in our lives every day, not just when it is convenient or problems arise.

We're also learning that what used to bother or concern us, we just really need to put in the Lord's hands and let Him take care of it. He told us to not worry or have anxiety or fret, but to pray and watch expectantly to see what He will do. He told us numerous times in His word to not be anxious, so I've really tried to pray about things and just release them. With all the extra medical expenses this past year, I've had to really learn to let go of that care. We've been amazed to see His hand move. We were blessed several times with financial gifts because God knew we needed it. He is such a loving and caring God! He really does care about His children and all the details of our lives. I can't tell you how many times I'd receive a call, card, visit, meal, or gift just when I really needed it. Those things just confirmed to me how much He truly loves me. 

We have also learned in the past two years about the power of prayer. We can look back over the past two years and see where His hand has moved in mighty ways. He has answered so many of our prayers I can't remember them all. YOU have been a part of those answered prayers and we are so very thankful for each prayer you've prayed on behalf of our family. This journey isn't just about us. Every person that has been a part of this journey is learning something new about the Lord. This is just an avenue He is using to draw us all closer to Him. How many times have you prayed for us and we got the answer and got excited to see how He answered it? God has been so good to us and He alone deserves all the glory, praise, and honor. 

I am truly thankful to be alive today and to be feeling almost like I did before all this started. Praise Him with me! I do covet your continued prayers that I continue to do well and for complete healing. Pray that our faith will continue to grow as we trust Him with the future. There is still a battle to be fought in the mind, body, and for our faith. Pray that we will obey Him and leave the consequences to Him.

Thank you to each of you that have supported us through these past two years and for walking this journey with us!

Love,

Molly

As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year....

*I wrote this post last January 1, 2010 and re-read it today.   I can't help but re-post it because it says exactly what I would want to say again today as we begin a new year.  I made a few changes and hope you don't mind the re-post.  :-)
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As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year..... 


"Now to him who is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21~

Today on this last day of this year as I reflect on how generous God has been and is to us. As we look back on the year and all that’s happened to us, there are lots of mixed feelings.  We've had our struggles and fears.   We've had heartache and pain.  We have been touched with rest and relief; as well as moments of joy and comfort too. While it’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, we must refocus on what has gone right. God has joined us and is accompanying us on this journey.  He understands our distress.  He is bringing help in every moment of need.  This is cause for celebration and relief! 

As this year closes and another is about to begin, help me Lord to not  focus just on what has been hard for me. Instead help me find  encouragement and hope in recounting all that has blessed and uplifted me this year. There are more blessings than I can say.  Thank you for seeing us through another year.   While it has been the hardest year of my life, you have been faithful to walk with me through it.   Help me to have an attitude of gratitude, for you have done exceedingly more for us than we could ever imagine.  Thank you, Lord.  Amen.

A devotion to share with you.

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High. ~    Psalm 7:17 

Cancer survivors understand that gratitude is at the very heart of creating an atmosphere of healing. Survivors know that it is essential to be in the right state of mind to focus on hope for the journey. They believe that living thankfully and appreciatively is a profound requirement for achieving the state of well-being they seek. Being mindful of the need to find goodness and count blessings is ever-present in a survivor’s life. They focus on what is right and what is good, what is positive and what is eternal. They look beyond temporary setbacks to seek evidence of lasting answers and help. When they do they find the evidence they need.  

The more I look for the blessings you give me, dear God, the more I see signs and wonders of your amazing love. Every time I realize one good thing you do, I come to recognize there are so many more good things than I never knew before. Thank you for compounding the blessings in my life. Amen.

(Reprinted from Foundation for Cancer Research and Wellness)

I just wanted to pass on the good news I received at my doctor's visit yesterday.   I went in for a check up on my bloodwork.   All of it came back fine.   This is where he watches the white platelet counts, the hemoglobin level, and the white blood cell counts so he can determine if I need another white platelet shot or a transfusion.    He was pleased with that and how I am feeling that he moved my maintenance chemo from December 27 until January 3rd!!   Yay!   Now, I can have time off with the children during their break and not feel bad.

I asked him for further information on why I need to to the maintenance chemo.    He said that studies show in my particular case, that doing IV maintenance chemo is more successful at keeping the cancer at bay than by using the oral chemo.   He told me to look at it as people who have to take blood pressure medicine everyday and not just see at as I'm getting chemo every four to five weeks.   They need that medicine to maintain their blood pressure just like I need this to keep the cancer at bay, thus extending my life.   Many cancer survivors live with maintenance  chemo.    I heard of a person yesterday that has been getting maintenance chemo for 16 years and she lives a full life.   That's incredibly amazing to me and such encouragement to me!     I will be getting a much less amount of chemo every four to five weeks than when we were doing it every three weeks.    It will only take ten minutes for the maintenance chemo to go in, plus I will continue to get the bone strengthening medicine that takes fifteen minutes.    We're unsure how it will affect me.   He said some people are just very tired the next day and then they are fine.   Others it might affect them like it did me this time with tiredness, headache and nausea for five days.    So, we'll just have to see what happens.

I have to tell you this and then I'll close.   I felt bad from Wednesday after chemo until this Tuesday.   I started feeling better on Wednesday, so I made a list of errands I needed to run soon.   I had eleven places I needed to go, so I thought if I feel good on Thursday, I'll do half then and the other half on Friday or Saturday.   Well, I left the house with Emily at 2:00 on Thursday and we ran all 11 errands.   We got home that evening and I was still feeling good!!!!!!!!!!!   Yay!   We took time to eat a salad while we were out so I rested then and got a second wind, so off we went.   I cannot tell you how good it felt to be out and about and not feel bad or tired. I felt like the "real Molly" again.  :-)  PTL!

So when I went to the doctor on Friday, he asked me how I was feeling and I said, "I feel like a resurrected Frosty the Snowman" and he laughed.   I told him I had run 11 errands the day before and that I felt good on Friday as well.   He just grinned and said, "This is wonderful news!"   Later on, I asked him how he thought I was doing and was he pleased with my progress.   He looked at me and he said, "You told me that you ran 11 errands yesterday and felt good.   Molly, most healthy people can't run 11 errands in one day.   So, I think you're doing incredible!"   To come from where I've been these past six months, I truly have felt like a breathe of fresh wind has been put in my body and I am alive again!   To God be the Glory, Great Things He Has Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living with hope again,

Molly 

Thanks to those of you who continue to follow my blog even though I don't post often.   I really appreciate your faithfulness.  2010 has been a hard year for me, but I'll try to do better in the coming year.  Thanks for sticking with me! :-)

Blessings,

Molly

Praise Him with us.............

Hey there,

I just wanted to update you all on my visit to the surgical oncologist at Duke yesterday. She took an xray and the arm is healing just like she was hoping. PTL!  She said that I am NOT a candidate for surgery! YAY!!!!! There is calcium "caulking" growing around the the fractured area which is supporting the arm. That "caulking" will eventually fill in the fracture but it will be a slow process because I'm still doing chemo. Once the chemo stops, the body will go to work in healing up that area just like in a normal, healthy person's body. Chemo slows the healing process down in cancer patients. 

We were very relieved to hear that I am not a candidate for surgery. I will begin physical therapy the week after Thanksgiving. I probably won't ever be able to raise this arm above my head like I can with the left arm, but if we can get it up 75%, that will be good. Most people, even healthy people, don't get full use of their arm back if it gets broken where mine was broken. Surgery would not help improve those odds at all. I am just thankful I can use my arm and that I don't have to have surgery. I saw a few people up there with only one arm yesterday, so I am thankful to have both arms.

I have been given permission to drive as I feel up to it, so that is a great relief as well. Yay!

The esophagus burn is doing much better. I was able to eat chicken and brunswick stew yesterday. It was wonderful! My body is CRAVING oranges so I even ate one of those. It didn't cause acid reflux, so that was a relief!

We have so much to be thankful for today and every day. I continue to gain strength and feel more normal. I can do more than I could two weeks ago! PTL! I have one more chemo to do on 11/29. We'll do a CT scan and go from there as to whether I will have more chemo or not after the one on 11/29.

God has been so good to us! Praise His Holy Name!

Love you all,

Molly

Well, it was a long weekend around here.    We arrived at 6:30 Friday morning for the port and I didn't go back for surgery until 11:00 AM!   I'd been told there were a few people in front of me, but I didn't expect to have to wait that long.   The insertion went well, PTL!   I could feel the doctor putting the sutures in, but I was not aware of anything going on.   They put me in recovery and brought me a meal.   I was SO hungry that I broke my rule of "No more hospital food for me ever again."   I really only ate the hash brown potatoes and orange juice so it wasn't that much hospital food.  LOL!   Then they brought me a lunch meal and I ate off of that.   I have to say that the baked fish, coleslaw, and cornbread muffin were actually really good.   By Friday evening, I was in enough pain that I wondered why I signed up for the port.   Oxycodone didn't even touch the pain.   The only way to avoid the pain was to sit real still in my recliner.   So, that's where I spent the whole weekend.    I was also suffering from gastrointestinal inflammation from the radiation.   It got worse on Sunday morning.   It hurt to breathe or swallow and nothing was helping.   I called the doctor on call and did what he said to do and it calmed down some.    I knew I could see my doctor Monday, so I held out til my appointment.    He decided we couldn't do chemo today because that would just aggravate the gastro inflammation even more.   So, chemo is on hold until things calm down.   Radiation is on hold for the same reason.   He gave me some fluids and nausea medicine in an iv and that has helped me feel better this evening.    He also gave me some medicine (Carafate) to coat the esophagus so it can heal.   The esophagus has a sunburn from the radiation.    I will have more fluids this week and a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin level is low.    

The nurse was able to use my port this afternoon.   I am now convinced I made the right decision to have this done.   It pinched, but it was a lot better than a med tech digging around trying to find my veins!!!  :-)

So, several unexpected things to deal with but I am reminding myself that these have not caught the Lord off guard.   He is ordering my steps through this ordeal.   Pray I can rest in the assurance that He is in control, not me.   

Thanks for your faithful prayers, dear friends!

Love,

Molly