Abundant Blessings

Resting in His Arms…

2011-06-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update you all since you have all been praying for my mom since she found out about her lung cancer...

Molly N. beloved wife, mother, and friend is now resting in the arms of her Lord and Savior where there is no more sorrow or pain. She died peacefully tonight in a deep sleep without any pain and was surrounded by her family and close friends. Mom was an extremely strong fighter and was a true blessing to so many people…

Thank you so very much for your prayers and concern for our family. Our family will always treasure your love and support during this time. Mom always loved to write and encourage others on this blog, and she loved each one of you. We are resting in the fact that she is in a much better place now. God was ready for her to come home, so He must still have a plan for the rest of the family here on earth. We will make it through this difficult time, but only with His strength.

In Christ Alone,
Emily (for the rest of the Nichols family)

Update on Mom {Saturday}

2011-06-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

Please feel free to pass along this prayer request to anyone that you know...

Mom still needs prayers that her platelets will increase and that her kidneys will function properly. Yesterday, she was a little responsive. She answered yes and no questions by shaking her head and when dad asked if she wanted to see us, she even opened her eyes. The doctor said something to the effect that these next 24 hours are critical for her, though...

Thank you all for praying for our family! We are so thankful for your love and support for our family. I'll update again when I can...

Trusting in Him,

Emily

Update on Mom...

2011-06-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

Mom was moved to ICU yesterday. She is okay but very sick. They have her on a ventilator to help her relax in her breathing. She has something down her throat that is trying to help get the fluid off of her lungs. She was alert earlier when we were there, but now she is pretty sedated. She can't talk with the thing in her throat but she was able to squeeze our hands. They feel like with her in ICU that the nurse can monitor her better. I will try to update again soon.

~Emily (Molly's daughter)

Urgent Prayer Request

2011-06-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

Please be praying for mom and the rest of our family...

Mom had chemo last Monday and on Thursday, she woke up with a terrible sore throat. She had a reaction to the chemo and it's called chemo mucositis. She wasn’t able to eat or drink for a few days because of it so she got really dehydrated. My dad took her to the ER Saturday morning and they said that she was dehydrated and she has pneumonia. She hasn't eaten since Thursday because it hurts to eat, so she is really weak. She has been eating ice, but that is definitely not enough. The goal for the week is to help her throat to feel better, so she can talk without hurting, get her pneumonia under control, and to get her to eat food again.
Under the circumstances she is doing well but it's hard to see her like this. They did put her on oxygen yesterday because her throat is extremely swollen, so her breathing levels were up and down. When we left the hospital last night, she was doing better than when Katie got there earlier, but she said it was pretty scary earlier. I had something to do all day to keep my mind of everything, so I'm glad I wasn't there at that time. We have already had quite a few breakdowns. We have never seen her like this before and it’s really scary. I know that God is in control of everything that happens, but it’s hard to trust that everything is going to be alright when it feels like everything is falling apart.

That's about it for now. Her main doctor comes back today (he has been on vacation), so we will find out more. I'll keep you updated! Thank you for all your prayers and concern.

In Christ,
Emily (Molly's daughter)

Prayer request

2011-05-16T17:37:00.001-07:00

I went to my thyroid doctor today and she had run many tests as she usually does. The liver and kidney levels do not look good. The iron level is very high as well. It was 44 last year and this year is 3000. It should be below 100. I've asked Dr. W (the oncologist) about how my kidney and liver were looking in the past and he always says fine. I've never seen the results, just trusted he knew what he was doing. I have been having trouble being anemic for the past week and a half. Things are not improving so I'm going to see him tomorrow. Please pray that my dh and I will have favor with him as we share the results from my thyroid doctor with him. I'm a little nervous about that plus I don't feel well and am tired and emotional. Something has to be done about my kidneys and liver levels though and the iron level as well. My dh said I looked yellow yesterday so my color is off. This is new territory for me and a tad bit scary.

Please pray for our children and that they will rest in the arms of Jesus as we walk through this. I've had a few breakdowns lately and as much as I try to be strong for them, I can only do so much. The reality of all of this hits hard when the Mama can't hold herself together, ya know?

Thanks for your prayers and I'll update when I can.

Love,

Molly

I am dealing with anemia right now and would appreciate your prayers.

2011-05-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

I had a shot of medicine that is suppose to increase your red blood cells last Friday. I do feel a little better this week, but certainly not how I want to feel. I'm still weak. We called the doctor this morning and he says to give it a few more days and if I'm not stronger by next Monday or Tuesday, he wants to check it again. Please pray that I will feel better and get my strength back. I'm weary from the different trials I have to encounter after each chemo session. Since February, I've had a set back each time. If I'm going to have to do chemo, I sure want to feel better and not just exist. Pray for my children as well. They are concerned for me and that I'm not bouncing back.

Blessings,

Molly

2011-04-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share that the CT scan shows the fluid is GONE, there are less cells than last time, and that the radiation on the esophagus is decreasing! This is an answer to my prayer request! God is good!

It was hard for the nurses to find my veins this time, so instead of three sticks, I got five this time. I will be calling in the morning to see about getting a mediport appointment in May for sure. :-) Dr. Walker wants me to stop the inhaler and thinks that is what has been causing me to be so hoarse. Also, the chemo I'm taking causes sinus issues, so it could be that. We'll try dropping the inhaler now that the fluid is less and hope that takes care of the hoarseness. I surely hope so. If you could pray about the hoarseness and that the sinus issues would be minimal that would be great.

I finally got the nerve up to ask the doctor today as I know many of you have asked when will I be finished with chemo. I am on a maintenance dose of chemo on a four week schedule. The type of lung cancer I have responds to this mixture of chemo as long as you stay on the maintenance dose. If you stop the chemo, within four to six weeks, the cancer would multiply rapidly. So, at this point, I will be continuing the maintenance dose . Of course, we are still trusting the Lord for complete healing. As long as I'm not sick with any other illnesses or the chemo tiredness, I am able to function at about 80% of what I used to do, so I am thankful for that. The Lord has helped me through 2.4 years now and I'm trusting him to restore my health and that I will live a long time.

I am thankful for each prayer you have prayed on our behalf! May each of you be blessed for your faithfulness to pray for us.

In Him,

Molly

I'm still here. I'm sorry to have not updated before now, but we had

2011-04-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

a hard winter with lots of sickness in our family. Our family has never been so sick before. My husband managed to stay well, thank the Lord. We have variations of the flu, bronchitis, strep throat, pneumonia, sinusitis, and the common cold from mid-February until two weeks ago. I am still recovering from pneumonia and strep throat, but praise the Lord, I feel better than I did a week ago. I got very weak from the strep throat because I couldn't eat since my throat hurt so bad. I have been SO hungry for the past two weeks so I've been trying to eat and drink as much as I can. It's helping me to get stronger. I am also on Prednisone so that isn't helping my appetite. I'm usually not phased by Prednisone, but I have been this time.

I'm really glad to see spring come. This winter was very hard for me and I've struggled with depression. Being sick on top of that has left me a little battle weary. I've not been this low spiritually since all of this began. I'm trying to read or listen to the Word more often and watching what comes out of my mouth. I so want to have confidence in what His Word says and that that Truth will nestle deep down inside of me again. I want it to be life to me again. Please pray I can get my eyes back on Him and his Word and not on the circumstances.

I will be having a CT scan on Monday to see if the fluid they saw two months ago has gone. Please pray that it is and that there are no new cancer cells. Also, please be praying that the radiation that is on my esophagus is gone. I had radiation in that area back in October and the last CT scan showed it was still there. That combined with the chemo makes me cough a lot. I'm praying that they won't find anything and that the Lord will heal me of this dreadful disease. Cancer changes your life in many ways, some good and some bad.

I do have some praises that are worthy to be mentioned and He deserves the glory for them. We received a check for a large amount of money a few months ago from a group of people. I don't know who they are as the card was not signed. If you were amongst that group of people, THANK YOU for the blessing!!! It was timely and greatly needed. We appreciate your generosity so much! My daughter received the money she needs for the summer school session she has to take, praise God! The Lord has been blessing my husband with extra work to earn extra money at his job. That is a huge praise in this economy! We have many extra expenses with medical bills, food and medicine needs, and of course, as you all are experiencing as well, the cost of living just keeps rising. We are thankful for his job and that we have very good insurance. So far this year, my medical charges have been over $200,000 and it's only April. Thankfully, most of what we have to pay is a $35.00 co-pay and our $1500 deductible, but that does add up quickly when you go to the doctor at least three times a month. I just have to trust the Lord with all of it because it is way too big for me.

Thank you for continuing to follow my blog and for your continued prayers for our family! Please pray that the Lord will heal me completely. I am trusting Him for that.

God bless you,

Molly

To God Be the Glory!

2011-01-26T16:16:00.000-08:00

This week marks two years since I found out I had cancer. I cannot let this time go by without giving Him praise as we stand in awe at what the Lord has done in these past two years. Doctors will tell you all the statistics, etc., but we chose to not listen to them. I AM NOT A STATISTIC in God's eyes and I refuse to listen to the what if's and predictions that the doctors say about my situation. As a friend told me early on in this walk, only God knows the day He will call each of us home.

One of the things that we've learned through this journey has been to truly be thankful for each day and use it for His glory serving Him, doing His will and walking with Him. Each day is not a guarantee, but truly a gift from above. It's so easy to get caught up on the merry go round of things that life throws at us, that we begin to keep God at arm's length and then He is put further and further away. He wants to be involved in our lives every day, not just when it is convenient or problems arise.

We're also learning that what used to bother or concern us, we just really need to put in the Lord's hands and let Him take care of it. He told us to not worry or have anxiety or fret, but to pray and watch expectantly to see what He will do. He told us numerous times in His word to not be anxious, so I've really tried to pray about things and just release them. With all the extra medical expenses this past year, I've had to really learn to let go of that care. We've been amazed to see His hand move. We were blessed several times with financial gifts because God knew we needed it. He is such a loving and caring God! He really does care about His children and all the details of our lives. I can't tell you how many times I'd receive a call, card, visit, meal, or gift just when I really needed it. Those things just confirmed to me how much He truly loves me.

We have also learned in the past two years about the power of prayer. We can look back over the past two years and see where His hand has moved in mighty ways. He has answered so many of our prayers I can't remember them all. YOU have been a part of those answered prayers and we are so very thankful for each prayer you've prayed on behalf of our family. This journey isn't just about us. Every person that has been a part of this journey is learning something new about the Lord. This is just an avenue He is using to draw us all closer to Him. How many times have you prayed for us and we got the answer and got excited to see how He answered it? God has been so good to us and He alone deserves all the glory, praise, and honor.

I am truly thankful to be alive today and to be feeling almost like I did before all this started. Praise Him with me! I do covet your continued prayers that I continue to do well and for complete healing. Pray that our faith will continue to grow as we trust Him with the future. There is still a battle to be fought in the mind, body, and for our faith. Pray that we will obey Him and leave the consequences to Him.

Thank you to each of you that have supported us through these past two years and for walking this journey with us!

Love,

Molly

As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year....

2011-01-01T10:55:00.000-08:00

*I wrote this post last January 1, 2010 and re-read it today. I can't help but re-post it because it says exactly what I would want to say again today as we begin a new year. I made a few changes and hope you don't mind the re-post. :-)
**********************************************************************************
As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year.....

"Now to him who is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21~

Today on this last day of this year as I reflect on how generous God has been and is to us. As we look back on the year and all that’s happened to us, there are lots of mixed feelings. We've had our struggles and fears. We've had heartache and pain. We have been touched with rest and relief; as well as moments of joy and comfort too. While it’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, we must refocus on what has gone right. God has joined us and is accompanying us on this journey. He understands our distress. He is bringing help in every moment of need. This is cause for celebration and relief!

As this year closes and another is about to begin, help me Lord to not focus just on what has been hard for me. Instead help me find encouragement and hope in recounting all that has blessed and uplifted me this year. There are more blessings than I can say. Thank you for seeing us through another year. While it has been the hardest year of my life, you have been faithful to walk with me through it. Help me to have an attitude of gratitude, for you have done exceedingly more for us than we could ever imagine. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

A devotion to share with you.

2010-12-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High. ~ Psalm 7:17

Cancer survivors understand that gratitude is at the very heart of creating an atmosphere of healing. Survivors know that it is essential to be in the right state of mind to focus on hope for the journey. They believe that living thankfully and appreciatively is a profound requirement for achieving the state of well-being they seek. Being mindful of the need to find goodness and count blessings is ever-present in a survivor’s life. They focus on what is right and what is good, what is positive and what is eternal. They look beyond temporary setbacks to seek evidence of lasting answers and help. When they do they find the evidence they need.

The more I look for the blessings you give me, dear God, the more I see signs and wonders of your amazing love. Every time I realize one good thing you do, I come to recognize there are so many more good things than I never knew before. Thank you for compounding the blessings in my life. Amen.

(Reprinted from Foundation for Cancer Research and Wellness)

2010-12-11T12:10:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to pass on the good news I received at my doctor's visit yesterday. I went in for a check up on my bloodwork. All of it came back fine. This is where he watches the white platelet counts, the hemoglobin level, and the white blood cell counts so he can determine if I need another white platelet shot or a transfusion. He was pleased with that and how I am feeling that he moved my maintenance chemo from December 27 until January 3rd!! Yay! Now, I can have time off with the children during their break and not feel bad.

I asked him for further information on why I need to to the maintenance chemo. He said that studies show in my particular case, that doing IV maintenance chemo is more successful at keeping the cancer at bay than by using the oral chemo. He told me to look at it as people who have to take blood pressure medicine everyday and not just see at as I'm getting chemo every four to five weeks. They need that medicine to maintain their blood pressure just like I need this to keep the cancer at bay, thus extending my life. Many cancer survivors live with maintenance chemo. I heard of a person yesterday that has been getting maintenance chemo for 16 years and she lives a full life. That's incredibly amazing to me and such encouragement to me! I will be getting a much less amount of chemo every four to five weeks than when we were doing it every three weeks. It will only take ten minutes for the maintenance chemo to go in, plus I will continue to get the bone strengthening medicine that takes fifteen minutes. We're unsure how it will affect me. He said some people are just very tired the next day and then they are fine. Others it might affect them like it did me this time with tiredness, headache and nausea for five days. So, we'll just have to see what happens.

I have to tell you this and then I'll close. I felt bad from Wednesday after chemo until this Tuesday. I started feeling better on Wednesday, so I made a list of errands I needed to run soon. I had eleven places I needed to go, so I thought if I feel good on Thursday, I'll do half then and the other half on Friday or Saturday. Well, I left the house with Emily at 2:00 on Thursday and we ran all 11 errands. We got home that evening and I was still feeling good!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! We took time to eat a salad while we were out so I rested then and got a second wind, so off we went. I cannot tell you how good it felt to be out and about and not feel bad or tired. I felt like the "real Molly" again. :-) PTL!

So when I went to the doctor on Friday, he asked me how I was feeling and I said, "I feel like a resurrected Frosty the Snowman" and he laughed. I told him I had run 11 errands the day before and that I felt good on Friday as well. He just grinned and said, "This is wonderful news!" Later on, I asked him how he thought I was doing and was he pleased with my progress. He looked at me and he said, "You told me that you ran 11 errands yesterday and felt good. Molly, most healthy people can't run 11 errands in one day. So, I think you're doing incredible!" To come from where I've been these past six months, I truly have felt like a breathe of fresh wind has been put in my body and I am alive again! To God be the Glory, Great Things He Has Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living with hope again,

Molly

2010-12-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

Thanks to those of you who continue to follow my blog even though I don't post often. I really appreciate your faithfulness. 2010 has been a hard year for me, but I'll try to do better in the coming year. Thanks for sticking with me! :-)

Blessings,

Molly

Praise Him with us.............

2010-11-20T08:04:00.001-08:00

Hey there,

I just wanted to update you all on my visit to the surgical oncologist at Duke yesterday. She took an xray and the arm is healing just like she was hoping. PTL! She said that I am NOT a candidate for surgery! YAY!!!!! There is calcium "caulking" growing around the the fractured area which is supporting the arm. That "caulking" will eventually fill in the fracture but it will be a slow process because I'm still doing chemo. Once the chemo stops, the body will go to work in healing up that area just like in a normal, healthy person's body. Chemo slows the healing process down in cancer patients.

We were very relieved to hear that I am not a candidate for surgery. I will begin physical therapy the week after Thanksgiving. I probably won't ever be able to raise this arm above my head like I can with the left arm, but if we can get it up 75%, that will be good. Most people, even healthy people, don't get full use of their arm back if it gets broken where mine was broken. Surgery would not help improve those odds at all. I am just thankful I can use my arm and that I don't have to have surgery. I saw a few people up there with only one arm yesterday, so I am thankful to have both arms.

I have been given permission to drive as I feel up to it, so that is a great relief as well. Yay!

The esophagus burn is doing much better. I was able to eat chicken and brunswick stew yesterday. It was wonderful! My body is CRAVING oranges so I even ate one of those. It didn't cause acid reflux, so that was a relief!

We have so much to be thankful for today and every day. I continue to gain strength and feel more normal. I can do more than I could two weeks ago! PTL! I have one more chemo to do on 11/29. We'll do a CT scan and go from there as to whether I will have more chemo or not after the one on 11/29.

God has been so good to us! Praise His Holy Name!

Love you all,

Molly

2010-11-08T17:46:00.001-08:00

Well, it was a long weekend around here. We arrived at 6:30 Friday morning for the port and I didn't go back for surgery until 11:00 AM! I'd been told there were a few people in front of me, but I didn't expect to have to wait that long. The insertion went well, PTL! I could feel the doctor putting the sutures in, but I was not aware of anything going on. They put me in recovery and brought me a meal. I was SO hungry that I broke my rule of "No more hospital food for me ever again." I really only ate the hash brown potatoes and orange juice so it wasn't that much hospital food. LOL! Then they brought me a lunch meal and I ate off of that. I have to say that the baked fish, coleslaw, and cornbread muffin were actually really good. By Friday evening, I was in enough pain that I wondered why I signed up for the port. Oxycodone didn't even touch the pain. The only way to avoid the pain was to sit real still in my recliner. So, that's where I spent the whole weekend. I was also suffering from gastrointestinal inflammation from the radiation. It got worse on Sunday morning. It hurt to breathe or swallow and nothing was helping. I called the doctor on call and did what he said to do and it calmed down some. I knew I could see my doctor Monday, so I held out til my appointment. He decided we couldn't do chemo today because that would just aggravate the gastro inflammation even more. So, chemo is on hold until things calm down. Radiation is on hold for the same reason. He gave me some fluids and nausea medicine in an iv and that has helped me feel better this evening. He also gave me some medicine (Carafate) to coat the esophagus so it can heal. The esophagus has a sunburn from the radiation. I will have more fluids this week and a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin level is low.

The nurse was able to use my port this afternoon. I am now convinced I made the right decision to have this done. It pinched, but it was a lot better than a med tech digging around trying to find my veins!!! :-)

So, several unexpected things to deal with but I am reminding myself that these have not caught the Lord off guard. He is ordering my steps through this ordeal. Pray I can rest in the assurance that He is in control, not me.

Thanks for your faithful prayers, dear friends!

Love,

Molly

Update on CT scan and other things

2010-10-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update you all. The CT scan shows the tumor is SHRINKING!!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord! My doctor is very pleased. He can see where the chemo is actually working on the left scapula and healing it. That area has not been hurting in a long time, so that must be why. Also, praise the Lord that there is nothing new seen on the CT of the chest!

I had my third chemo treatment today and that went well. I also was able to get the PICC line removed so now I have my left arm back in full use. Another praise! I can take a real shower in a couple of days! Yahoo!!!

I will go back on Friday to get a shot of Neulasta which is the same shot that I had last month after chemo. It's the one that boosts white platelets so I don't end up in the hospital again.

There was mention today that I might begin radiation sooner than later so please be praying about that. Pray that there will be minimal side effects from it. The area they will be radiating is near the esophagus and I've heard of people having trouble with radiation in that area. I will be getting low doses of radiation for 15 days.

There was a problem on Friday with getting the port put in. My white platelets were too high due to the fact that I had a shot of Neulasta, which builds up white platelets. Now I will get the port put in on November 1st. Dr. Walker has already sent in the order and highlighted that the white platelets will be high because I am getting shots of Neulasta. I could've actually had it done this past Friday but the nurse didn't call Dr. Walker to question why the white platelets would be so high.

Another praise is that I have been able to use less pain medicine. This also shows us that the chemo is working throughout the body to heal it.

Thank you again for your faithful prayers! Rejoice with us about this good news! God is good!

Love you all,

Molly

An Update on Me.........

2010-09-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I'll try to be brief, but that may be hard. Lots of things have happened with me since my last post. The MRI I have last three hours!!! I was so tired of laying in the same position and it was FREEZING in there! I was glad I had taken 20 mgs. of Valium before I went in. Trust me, I needed every mg. I'm a trooper with the CT scans now and they don't bother me. Yay God! The results from those tests didn't reveal anything new, just confirmed what we already knew, so that was actually a praise! The cancer has spread to my thoraic area and I will be having radiation on that area. I have changed doctors since my last post as well. This doctor is a lung cancer specialist and I just love him. He's a precious man, very compassionate and such a fighter for my life! I am thankful the Lord led us to him. I've had two chemo treatments since I posted. The first one was a whammer and made me really sick. I spent 11 days in the hospital. My white platelets took a nosedive and it took a while to get them back up so I could get out of the hospital. Apparently my body can not handle the level of drugs he gave me the first time, so he rearranged things for the second chemo and so far things are going fairly well. I am having some nausea and tiredness, but so far none of the symptoms I had with the first chemo. I can tell you that I don't like hospitals. I've never been away from my children more than three days, so that was very sad and depressing for me. Hospitals are lonely and depressing. I was blessed with great nurses who genuinely care about their patients. I came away with a great respect for healthcare works in general. They all earn ever dime they make. Most everybody on my floor worked 12-14 hour shifts and were still kind when they left in the evening or morning. I don't know if I could be that good. LOL! Those workers are on their feet most of their shift, constantly meeting patient needs. Kuddos to the healthcare workers!

Well, that about sums up what's been going on with me. Please continue to pray for complete healing from all this. Pray my broken humerus heals properly, that the next chemo treatments go well and that they kill the cancer cells. I am so ready to get back to my normal way of living. I've been sleeping in a recliner due to my broken arm since July. It helps to have it propped up and having support behind my back helps keep the pain at bay. Pray for my family as they deal with the stress of all of this. It's taking it's toil on us all, but we are trying to persevere through the test.

Also, please pray for a special older friend of mine who was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago. She's a precious, wise Christian woman who loves the Lord immensely. Pray they caught it in time and that she will get well. I'm not ready for her to meet Jesus yet. She's a widow also, so pray she can get the help she needs as she recovers.

May God bless each of you as you seek His face and walk with Him!

Blessings,

Molly

2010-07-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

I'm still here. I've been very busy with summer activities, trying to do some catching up around the house, and do school planning. I have been enduring several health issues as well, so I have been trying to get well from those. I'm learning that it is VERY HARD to walk through trials, especially several at a time, when you don't feel well. I have either fractured or broken my arm and am waiting for an MRI on Friday morning as the doctor thinks there is something suspicious on the xray. It's hard to type with one hand, so I doubt I'll be on here much. Please pray for good MRI results and that what he sees is nothing but scar tissue from a lesion that was in the same area. I honestly am tired from all these trials and am trying to live what I have shared on this blog. Some days I just fail, but I am still human. It's hard to count it all joy when you face trials. Some days I can walk this walk of faith and some days I battle my mind in a BIG way! Thanks for letting me be transparent and real and share how it really is right now.

Your prayers are appreciated!

Blessings until I post again -

Molly

Perfect and timely devotion for this season

2010-06-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

"Now to him who is able to keep you from falling" … Jude 24a

When the bottom is dropping out, we have a source of strength that can keep us from falling all the way. God is our safety net, a very present help in times of trouble. When we feel as if we cannot find our footing again, God catches us and carries us when we cannot walk the path on our own. When we find ourselves in a free fall, there are arms already reaching out for us to lift us from our distress.

When I think about it, I do know that you have reached out to catch me before, dear God. I have been rescued in more ways than I can count. I am grateful for that and I pray for the help to remember those times more and more each day. Amen.

Blessings,

Molly

Just need to say this....

2010-06-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

I've received comments since I started this blog about how strong I am and what a great attitude I have about all of this. I just need to say that I don't want anyone to think I have conquered this situation. I do have days where I am really battling my flesh while fighting this fight. I have had times where I have soared through the day with amazing faith. I have also had times where I am down in the dumps and fighting hard to walk by faith. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever walked through. These posts are written to encourage myself as well as anyone who reads this blog. I often go back and read through them to remind myself where we have come from so I can see God's faithfulness in this journey. I must remind myself of the great things God has done for us and what I've learned through this. I'm thankful that my Father is strong when I am weak. I'm also thankful that He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me. He is with me always. May God continue to grant us strength for the journeys we find ourselves walking.

Blessings,

Molly

Consider it joy when you face trials of any kind.

2010-05-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

When we found out I had cancer, I can tell you that we experienced a peace that went beyond understanding. It enveloped our whole being. I had never experienced that kind of peace before, but it was very precious. It gave me the energy I needed to press through each day, to have an attitude of gratitude and joy for each new day I was given, and to be able to deal with the unknown future we were facing. It was a precious gift. I still have peace, just not the same level as when all this first happened. God has been very good to us and I'm so thankful for the grace He gives us. I'd like to share this devotion with you. May it encourage you along the way!

"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy."

~ James 1:2
Don’t mistake what this passage means. No one expects you to be happy about your difficulties. The word happy comes from the word “happenstance”, meaning our feelings depend on what happens to us. But we are expected to strive for joy. Joy is a sense of well-being, a sense of security, a sense of peace, no matter what happens to us. Joy is the feeling we want to achieve. Joy is feeling secure and content in every situation, in every challenge and in every way, knowing that God is taking care of us even in the most difficult of days.

God of joy, help me to know your peace which passes understanding. Help me to feel your security beyond compare. Help me to be well within my spirit no matter what challenges come my way. Amen.

May your day be blessed beyond measure -

Molly

An attitude of gratitude

2010-05-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." ~ Philippians 4: 8

Our thoughts have deep significance to our well-being. When we put our focus and energy on what is wrong in our lives we do nothing but stand against something. It paralyzes us when we are focused on all the bad in our lives. But when we put our attention on all that is good, on all that is right, it helps our attitude change and it changes our lives. There's enough bad going on in the world today that affects our lives daily IF we let it. We must make a choice to have an attitude of gratitude every single day. An attitude of joy and gratitude will always enable us to do so much more than one of opposition and defiance. Each new day is truly a precious gift!

Thank you, Lord, for the infinite ways in which my life is good. Help me to focus on them so I see my life in a more positive and triumphant way. Amen.

Blessings,

Molly

Reflecting on what JOY truly is.....

2010-05-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

In this busy life we live, it's easy to get caught up in all that busyness and lose sight of the purpose so quickly. I recently received this in an email and wanted to share it with you.

Here’s how to take back the joy you’ve lost:

1. Understand what joy is
Joy is not the absence of problems or stress. We all have troubles in daily life. Joy is the understanding that in spite of those troubles, we know we will be okay. It is holding onto a sense of peace and strength, security and ultimately goodness, even in the center of the storms. It is an intangible feeling that we will be carried through until we reach the other side, until better days come. It is a feeling of serenity that we are not alone, nor will ever be left all alone, to face our struggles and fears. Joy is the gift of peace that comes from knowing that no matter what happens to us, we are being given the ability to get through the challenge, to grow, to emerge to a better and healthier life. Joy is one of the best gifts we can ever create and receive.

2. Reflect on joyful moments Even if you are going through a painful period right now in your life, make an intentional effort to think about the positive, touching, grateful moments you feel. Those moments do come to us every day. Even in the midst of sad, challenging or devastating times, there are always at least little moments of light and grace that temper the difficulties and bring some balance into each day.

3. Create time for joy now If only for 10 minutes at a time - take a short walk, read a magazine article or story, watch children play, listen to some favorite music, view a part of a funny TV show, stare into space, look at a photo album, concentrate on something beautiful in nature allow yourself to focus on what pleases you. It will help you to transcend for that time the stresses you are facing.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. - Romans 12:12

2010-05-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this devotion with you. I pray it will encourage you as you press on to run the race that is set before you.

Sometimes the key to survival is simply "setting our jaw" and going on faithfully trusting that God is there helping us, despite the apparent and outward circumstances. Choosing joy through hope rather than despair, choosing patient endurance in times of affliction, and choosing faithfulness in prayer are all decisions of the will trusting that the God who raised Jesus from the dead can also change our circumstances because he hears our voice.

PRAYER:
Create in me, O Mighty God, a resolute and steadfast heart so that I might persevere with joy no matter what the difficulty. This I ask in the name of your faithful Son. Amen.

Blessings,

Molly

2010-05-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post a quick note to let you know that I'll start posting again soon. It's been a crazy spring around our house. Ever since March came, things have just been busy. I'm doing okay. I'm having some back pain due to my rib cage being out of whack, but with some physical therapy, it's getting stronger. I gave my testimony back in April to a ladies' group. That went really well. I was thankful the Lord calmed my nerves and spoke through me. I haven't spoken to a large group in a long time, so it was definitely the Lord working in me. The "old me" wouldn't have signed up for that. :-)

Hope all is well!

Blessings,

Molly

The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayer. ~ Psalm 6:9

2010-04-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

Actually, God hears all our prayers. God's ears are never closed and he never turns away from our cries for help. We do not need to be concerned that God doesn’t care. He knows and understands our deepest concerns and our most essential needs. There is nothing we can or need to hide from God. He wants us to lay our anxieties and apprehensions down at His feet. He wants to carry our burdens and tells us over and over that we are not to worry. I'm thinking that if he mentions it over and over in His word, that it is pretty important to Him that we give up those areas of concern. God recognizes all that disquiets us and assures us of listening so that we may know we are not alone. Our prayers are never in vain. In fact, God knows our needs even before we ask, and is already at work responding to those needs and giving us new life again. Doesn't that give you great peace and assurance of God’s devoted attention and acceptance?

Lord, it is a great reassurance to know that you understand the cries of my heart and reach out to answer me even before I turn to you. I am deeply grateful that you know me so well – and love me so much. Amen.

The Lord is my Shepherd.....

2010-03-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. -- Psalm 23:1-3

This verse gives me great comfort. He restores my soul. That sounds so good. But it is more than talk. When we've reached that point where we can't go on, God blesses us with strength to just keep on walking. When we're in a struggle and things are tough, his power upholds us and we run to victory. When we're winning victories in his name, we can soar on wings like eagles. He is a shepherd and more. He is the Rock and Sustainer of our lives! I've found this to be so true this past year! I have a permanent vision of a winding road in my mind. It has beautiful fall leaves on the trees on either side. The road is rocky. The Lord is at the end of the road encouraging me to keep walking, keep trusting, telling me to keep my focus on Him, not to look to the left or the right. As long as I do that, I can keep walking by faith. It's when I look to the left or the right that my circumstances overtake me and I get anxious.

Lord, help me rest tonight in your grace and in the confidence that you are nearby. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." - Luke 6:36

2010-03-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

Thank God that his mercies are new every morning! One of the things I learned early on after my diagnosis is that the Lord LOVES US SO MUCH that we can barely fathom His love. I am SO thankful that He loves me unconditionally. He knows when I'm going to mess up and yet, He still loves me. Praise God for his mercy!

He wants to draw us closer to Him and it is truly through the valleys that we learn to draw close to Him, not when life is smooth sailing. Cancer is a message to change. I'm so thankful the Lord is doing "spring cleaning" and rebuilding me to be more like Him.

Here is a devotion that I received this morning that I wanted to share with you. Even if you haven't been diagnosed with an illness, these are still wonderful words of wisdom. I pray this ministers to your spirit.

When we judge and react harshly to ourselves and others we place burdens on our hearts and souls that we don’t need. When we hold onto and keep mental lists of weaknesses, slights and faults we diminish ourselves and others. It takes entirely too much energy to focus on imperfections and failings. It weakens our spirits and inhibits our healing. God gave us the command to forgive and show mercy because God knows it is best for us. We are strongest when we can release tension and pain, when regret and disappointment can be lifted and when we can move on forever from bitterness and hostility. Cancer is a message to change. The most significant of the changes can occur when we clear ourselves of everything that eats at our souls. We need that energy instead to focus on getting well and being whole again.

Merciful God, I know I need to learn so much from you. Your gracious and forgiving nature toward me shows me how I need to live my life with others. I pray that I will have the strength of conviction and purpose to do what I know is best. Amen.

Bless the Lord, O My Soul

2010-03-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

"Bless the Lord, O my soul,

...who forgives all your iniquities..."v.3

"Who redeems your life from destruction..."v.4

"The Lord is merciful and gracious,

Slow to anger,

and abounding in mercy..."v.8

"He has not dealt with us

according to our sins,

Nor punished us according to our iniquities...."v.10

"As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions

from us..." v.12 ~Psalm 103

To Shine Like Gold

2010-03-09T08:31:00.000-08:00

"He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside." - Job 23:10-11

How we long for this to be our true confession. God wants us to shine like gold. We are not yet gold, but long to be. The refining process is a work in progress. We are not yet fully following his steps, but we are trying. We try to not turn aside, but we sometimes falter. I am thankful for God's grace until our intentions and desires are fulfilled in our walk with Him!

O Lord, I confess my sin and my inadequacy in following your paths. Forgive me as I recommit my life to serve you in holiness and joy. Thank you for your grace which covers my sin and perfects in me the character of Jesus. Amen.

"The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want." Psalm 23:1

2010-03-02T08:27:00.001-08:00

In ancient times, when this psalm was written, those who heard these words would have instinctively known how significant the image of a shepherd was. A shepherd would protect and guide his sheep. A shepherd would lift them from dangerous places and carry them when they could not walk themselves. A shepherd would literally put himself between a dangerous predator and his sheep, placing himself in harm’s way for them. A shepherd’s job was to make certain that no sheep would be lost and that every one would make it back home safely. God is like a shepherd. God will do anything for us to help and save us. God wants none of us to be harmed or lost. With this kind of God we will not lack anything we need, no matter how hard the journey.

With you as my shepherd, caring God, I am reminded that I need never be lost. When I find myself confused and feeling alone, not certain which way to go, not sure if there is any hope, you come to carry and protect me. I am much better for that. Amen.

Wow, another month has flown by and I haven't posted in a while.

2010-02-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

Life has been challenging lately. In the past month I've dealt with kidney stones and a UTI. I got over that and two weeks later I had a bladder infection. Those were pretty tough because in the midst of it all, I was reliving what happened last year this same time. I found myself really struggling to fight off being depressed on top of being sick with the infections. I had to take two rounds of antibiotics so that made my irritable bowel syndrome flare up. I felt like I was getting knocked down every time I could stand up. I finally relented and asked for prayer. I knew I couldn't pull myself out of the depths of depression without God and my faithful prayer warriors. God always knows who we need to have for strength and support. We can count on Him supplying people in real life who will love us and pray us through the storms of life. He is faithful like that. :-)

I had my regular followup appointment with my oncologist. He continues to be pleased with my progress. He spoke words of life and truth to me that day straight from the Lord. I had shared with him the past two months of trials and frustrations. He was very comforting as well as encouraging. I felt much better having talked to him and getting some new perspective on life.

So, I am pressing on, moving forward, step by step, walking by faith, trusting in Him and His plan for our lives. I'm so glad He is in control and that I don't have to worry about the "what ifs". I'm so glad I can cast those onto Him. All He desires is for me to spend time with Him, seeking His direction, getting to know Him better, trusting in Him, and walking by faith.

May our days be filled with joy as we seek after Him -

Molly

Walking through dark moments

2010-01-23T18:04:00.000-08:00

This journey I'm on is not an easy one. Ever since I announced that my tumor has shrunk to 1/2 inch the end of December, the enemy has been on my heels. I've been dealing with kidney stones and inflamed diverticuli. I've struggled with depression. It's so hard to fight this fight when you don't feel good. I've struggled this whole month because it's the month I found out about my cancer last year. Yes, God has been good and so very faithful. He has been my strength and seen me/us through last year. I think it's stirred up a mixed bag of emotions. I've seen his hand move in my life in mighty ways, ways I've never experienced before and that is overwhelming in itself. He has answered so many prayers and yet, I am still afraid of what the future holds. I've struggled with fear and anxiety this month. I don't want anyone who reads this blog to think it's all been easy. This is HARD! My family is affected daily by all of this. Our lives have been turned upside down. Our routines and schedules aren't what they were a year ago. Nothing is the same here. It's all a "new normal". I've struggled with my perspective on all of this lately. I must choose to keep my focus on Jesus, and right now, that is minute by minute. I can't look to the left or the right. He knows what I can handle even when I don't. I'm so glad He already knows all this about me and knows how to help me as I cry out to Him.

Sharing from the heart,

Molly

Great is Thy Faithfulness

2010-01-14T19:19:00.000-08:00

As I reflect over the past year, I am pondering of all the ways God has blessed me. There have been many difficult days this past year, but He was with me through each hard step along the way. He was with me in the good steps as well. I'm reminded of the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and all that I have to be grateful for of my Heavenly Father. No matter what goes on in our lives, He is always there, ever faithful. He keeps His promises to us. He promises that He “will never fail you or abandon you” (Heb. 13:5b). And He continuously provides for our needs, both great and small. Reflect on the words of this hymn and give thanks for all that He has done in your life in the past year.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;

As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Blessings,

Molly

I heard from the radiologist this afternoon.....

2010-01-05T16:22:00.001-08:00

The report shows that the tissue in question is indeed healing tissue and not tissue that is spreading. This is wonderful news!!!!!!!! He also commented that there were a few lesions in the right lung and they are almost non existent! We'll stay the course and hope that the next CT scan shows even better results. Needless to say, we're all doing the happy dance at our house! Praise God with us!

Living with hope,

Molly

As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the New Year.....

2010-01-01T07:25:00.000-08:00

… that he has shown them according to his mercy, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
~ Isaiah 63:7c

Today on this last day of this year as I reflect on how generous God has been and is to us. As we look back on the year and all that’s happened to us, there are lots of mixed feelings. We've had our struggles and fears. We've had heartache and pain. We have been touched with rest and relief; as well as moments of joy and comfort too. While it’s easy to focus on what has gone wrong, we must refocus on what has gone right. God has joined us and is accompanying us on this journey. He understands our distress. He is bringing help in every moment of need. This is cause for celebration and relief!

As this year closes and another is about to begin, help me Lord to not focus just on what has been hard for me. Instead help me find encouragement and hope in recounting all that has blessed and uplifted me this year. There are more blessings than I can say. Thank you, O God. Amen.

I just want to shout!!!!

2009-12-30T16:54:00.000-08:00

I had a CT scan done today to see how things are progressing with my treatment. The doctor just called with the results. He said everything looks VERY GOOD! He said the tumor has shrunk from 2 inches to a 1/2 inch! Praise God!!!!! I do need ya'll to pray about one thing though. The radiologist doesn't have anything to compare with so I'm to get a copy of the previous MRI to them next week. From the radiologist report, there are areas that look like metastatis, but my doctor talked to the radiologist and they agreed that because I'm doing so well, that more than likely (notice emphasis) it is where healing is taking place or scar tissue. My doctor told me not to worry because he said it is hard to distinguish this in the lung especially if you don't have anything to compare it to. The radiologist agreed with him that if it has metastasized, we would be seeing symptoms of that and we're not. Remember all this started with back pain and I have NO pain in my body!! Praise God!!

So, please continue to pray that when the radiologist sees the previous MRI and compares this to the CT next week, that he will confirm that this is healing tissue, not metastatis. I'll let you know as soon as I know.

As we wrap up the year, it's been an extraordinary year to say the least. God has been so good to us and has never left us to walk this path alone. I've never felt his presence like I have this year. The peace that passes all understanding has been a gift He has given to us, one I can't quite explain, but know it has been so precious. The lessons we've learned, the prayers we've seen answered, the love we've experienced, the grace He has given to sustain us have been a gift. I know people think I'm crazy when I say that this cancer diagnosis has been a gift, but when you really think about it, it is. I've learned to rely on the Father in a way I have never known before. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. We're in the palm of His hand, right where He wants us to be.

For each prayer you've prayed for us, for the phone calls, the emails, the cards, and other expressions of love and concern, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. This year will not be forgotten. It's all written down on paper. Who knows, one day it might be a book. My prayer is that He receives all the glory for the great things He has done. My spirit just shouts on the inside with excitement about all He has done and will do in the future! "I will recount the gracious deeds of the Lord, the praiseworthy acts of the Lord, because of all the Lord has done for us,"… Isaiah 63:7a,b

May the New Year be one where we all find ourselves seeking His face more each day, drawing closer to Him, and learning to walk closer with Him! May it be filled with love, joy, peace, and good health for each of us! Thanks for sharing the journey with us!

Living with hope,

Molly

2009-12-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

Answer me when I call, O God of my right! ~ Psalm 4:1a

In so many of our lives today, when we phone others we get busy signals. Or we quickly get put on hold. Or our calls are screened. Or we must navigate through a dozen messages in order to reach who we need. Or we have to leave a message that never gets returned. It's especially frustrating when we are seeking answers that directly impact on our health and lives. In our desperation and anxiety we want to reach the ones who can help us without complication or delay. But with God it is not complicated. With God there is no delay. Because God is already at work even before we ask or know what to ask. God is the One whose line is always open, who never screens us and who is never too busy to hear.

I remember that you are always listening, even when I am not calling to you. Your ear is already waiting for my voice. Your hands are already creating a solution for me. Thank you for always being ready for me, O God. Amen.

2009-12-18T11:36:00.000-08:00

This was my devotion for today. I think it is a pretty powerful one.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power." ~ Ephesians 6:10

Trust. Confidence. Resolve. Hope. A positive vision. These things are of God. They give us strength. They empower us. They supply us with the courage to face the uncertain future before us. We need each of these things to help us react to all that lies ahead with a healthy attitude and with grace. The gifts we need for healing, like these, all come from the One who is an endless source of support and sustenance for us. We do not have to travel on this road alone, left to our own limited knowledge and skills. But we can certainly rely on God to supply us with every gift necessary to find exactly what we need.

I can't do this alone, O Lord. I need your power to help me find my way. Don't let me try to find healing without you. Remind me of my own limitations and of your infinite care and love. Amen.

We are all significant in God's eyes

2009-12-10T15:32:00.000-08:00

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? " - Matthew 6:26

One of the things I've learned through my walk with cancer is that we are all signficant in God’s eyes. I knew I was important before the diagnosis, but after the diagnosis, I really knew, if that makes sense. Up until that time, I never saw myself as being a real vital part of this big world we live in. I knew the Lord loved me, but after the diagnosis, the Lord showed me truly how much He loves me through the body of Christ. I remember days going by when all I could do was cry. I've never cried such big tears and there was nothing I could do to stop them. They just kept coming. A friend told me tears bring healing and I could certainly use some healing. He truly holds each of us in the palm of His hand.

Realizing that I am valued in God’s kingdom is one of the most vital gifts we can give ourselves. Knowing how much God wants us to believe we are created in a divine image can change our outlooks in many positive ways no matter what we are facing. When we comprehend how much God loves us and wants to help us, our lives are renewed and transformed. We are changed for the better when we believe inherently that God cares for us deeply and that God’s only will is for us to have only the best of life and love.

My value in your eyes is ultimately impossible for me to understand, dear Lord. The love you have for me is far more deep and strong than I can ever know. But as I grow more aware, I thank you for the way it gives me hope and new life. Amen.

God is bigger than our problems

2009-11-30T08:06:00.000-08:00

VERSE:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. -- Ephesians 3:20-21

THOUGHT:

What grand "Kingdom dreams" do you have for God's glory? What incredible ideas can you imagine requesting that God would bring to fruition? What are your expectations of heaven with God? Now that you have stretched mind, challenged your imagination, and loaded up your expectations, are you ready for some down to earth truth straight from the Marvel of heaven? God is able to do far more than any of that. His power is at work in us to do his glorious will and accomplish his eternal purposes. So let's not set our sights too low and expect too little. Live for his glory and expect to see it at work in your life.

PRAYER:

O LORD, God of heavens and earth, my Abba Father and loving Shepherd, please stir my thoughts by your Spirit to dream bigger dreams and have higher hopes than my earthbound and selfish brain can imagine. Give me a sense of wonder and expectation as I live for your glory. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

2009-11-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

“Whatever you ask in prayer with faith, you will receive.” - Matthew 21:22

If we want something to work for us the first and most essential step is to believe it will work. If we believe that establishing a connection with God through prayer can give us strength, guidance and vision, it surely will. As we put our trust in the power of God to show us a better way, we will surely find a better way to face the challenges that confront us. Connecting with the power of eternity that God gives us helps us profoundly to see answers we could never see on our own. Believing that God has only the best in mind for us will encourage and energize us beyond imagination. Putting our trust in a divine authority will enable us to discover renewed hope for each new day.

In confidence I reach out to you, Lord, to show me the direction you want me to go. I know you want only the best for my life. I look to you in faith today to help me understand what all that means for me. Amen.

A Spirit of Joy

2009-11-21T07:21:00.000-08:00

I believe having a spirit of joy is essential for every one of us, not just those walking through trials. Our attitude about life affects every area of our lives and the people around us. Having a joyful spirit can be infectious. Remember the Lord told us to "Consider it pure joy, my dear brothers, for when you face trials of many kinds, for the testing of your faith, will develop perserverance." James 1:2

Take a minute to ponder on this devotion.

"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice, let them ever sing for joy;" - Psalm 5:11a

Possessing a spirit of joy is essential on this journey with cancer. Joy is an amazing gift from God. Joy is a spirit of trust, confidence and calm that helps us transcend all the challenges we face. Joy grants us serenity in spite of the turmoil within and around us. Joy infuses us with a sense of well-being even as we face the most difficult problems. Joy is a refuge in times of trouble. Joy is a balm that soothes our souls no matter what threatens our lives. Joy enables us to rise above our physical circumstances to experience hope and peace. That is a gift in which we truly can rejoice.

O Lord, I need this joy in my life today. I cannot be knocked down and pushed around and survive without the refuge you give. I’m looking to you today to help me find your joy alive in everything I do. Amen.

The Lord sustains me

2009-11-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

I wish I could say I wrote this, but I didn't. Even if you aren't dealing with cancer, I'm sure that you know someone who is. Take a minute to read this devotion. What a great reminder to every one of us! Life is a precious gift!

"I lie down and sleep; I wake again, for the Lord sustains me." - Psalm 3:5

Each new day of life is a precious gift from God. Most of us know that in our minds. But we don’t always live and react like we do. Many cancer survivors reflect on the fragileness and uncertain pathways of life. They realize that each breath we take and each step we make are granted to us by a loving, caring creator, a creator who wants us to find goodness and joy in each of them. Never forget that God has given you a special and wondrous gift with this day. Always know that God is with you to sustain you and to share blessings with you in every moment you have on this earth.

When my eyes open each new morning, I am reminded that the day is a gracious gift from you. I pray to use this gift gratefully and joyfully for you, O God. Amen.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power" - Ephesians 6:10

2009-11-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

Some of our strength to fight evil comes from our experiences in the past, from the encouragement of others, and from our knowledge of the truth in the Scriptures. Ultimately, however, our strength comes from God's mighty power. Paul uses his letter to the Ephesians to remind Christians that this power is what raised Jesus from the dead (1:19-20). Through that power in us, God can do much more than we can ask or imagine (3:20-21). Most important of all, as we put on our spiritual armor and dedicate ourselves to spiritual discipline, God blesses us with his power and might. We can be strong in God's mighty power.

PRAYER:

O LORD God Almighty, my Abba Father and loving Shepherd, strengthen me with your might and grace so that I can withstand the attacks and temptations of the evil one. In Jesus' name I ask it. Amen.

(Taken from http://www.heartlight.org/)

2009-11-10T12:26:00.000-08:00

"Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine." Ephesians 3:20

This has become one of my favorite verses as I've walked this journey. This is where I got the name of my blog. We are all truly abundantly blessed. As human beings, we truly cannot begin to envision how much God can do for us. We cannot begin to imagine how much God loves us. God’s power and love are so vast and infinite. Because of our own limited understandings we actually limit how God can act in our lives. To find healing and hope we need to be open to the unimaginable power of God to break into our lives and give us far more than we can comprehend. We limit the answers God gives by limiting what we think God can do. Don’t go to God in prayer with preconceived answers about how God should respond. But go to God with a spirit open to accepting God’s amazing power and limitless love. You will be in awe of what can happen.

I come to you with an open heart, O God, ready to receive all that you give to me. I know your help is far greater than anything I can perceive. Amen.

2009-11-04T12:23:00.000-08:00

We all have some problem or trial we are dealing with. The Lord told us we would have troubles in this life. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I began to see that even though I had this diagnosis, the Lord still LOVES me. HE didn't give me this disease, but He surely will see me through. And He promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I had to make a decision whether I would choose to trust Him with this or not. I decided that whatever He has in store for me has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. I also had (and still do) to choose to not become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to him for help. I realized through the love shown to us through others who came when they heard our news how much He truly loves me. I know I never fully understood that until all this happened. I can remember putting Chris Tomlin's song "How Can I Keep From Singing" on in the car while I was alone, tears running down my eyes, crying out to the Father as I felt His arms of love wrap around me. I felt abundantly blessed during that time and am still in awe at His goodness to me and my family through this journey. Take a minute to listen to "How Can I Keep From Singing?" by Chris Tomlin below.

2009-10-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

This was written in honor of a cancer survivor who believes that despite his cancer, life is good. If you are a cancer survivor, you can truly relate to what it says.

Life is Good

How can you say that life is good when you have cancer? What’s good about it? You have a disease that threatens your life. You often have pain, discomfort. Your abilities and the control you have over your life keep shrinking, while your schedule of medical visits, tumor markers, and fears keep growing. Your future appears bleaker, your days shorter. There’s just a lot going wrong, it seems. It’s frankly, overwhelming. And a lot of people say some of the most insensitive, unhelpful, hurtful things. But you still say that life is good? How can that be? What is it that you see that still convinces you of life’s goodness, joy, wonder, beauty? You’ve been through the wringer. Your life has changed and it can never go back to what it once was. But that is your answer. It can’t go back and you don’t want it to. In spite of and because of your cancer it can’t go back. That’s your answer! You have learned in spite of your cancer that God is stronger than the cancer is, that you are stronger than the cancer too. You have learned because of your cancer that the fragility of life makes life that much more special, precious, worth living fully. You have learned to love more deeply, forgive more quickly, laugh more freely, risk more boldly. You have learned, it seems, to search more seriously for God’s face and in your search, you see God’s face in so many more places than you ever had before. You really do see life as good, because life is meant to be good and when you found that truth you decided to begin to live it, to be fully alive, to be free.

Copyright © 2009 by Michael Gingerich. All rights reserved.

"He took our infirmities and bore our diseases." Matthew 8:17b

2009-10-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

I just have to share this devotion with you that I received today. Please take a few minutes to read this and really take in what it says. We serve a big God and whatever we are facing today, He already knows about it. He is not caught off guard. We must choose to release our cares and let Him carry our burdens. I know it's hard to release that control, but what better place to be, letting go and letting God take care of things. What a relief we find when we do that!

Here's the devotion: We are created in God’s image. God knows us intimately and perfectly. God wants us to find relief and release for our disease and pain. Because God understands us so fully, God is the one to whom we need to connect to know how we can best find help. God’s business is about offering us healing, hope and new life. God does not want us to suffer and neither does God want us to live in despair. We need to know and believe deeply within our souls that God’s purposes are only for our everyday and eternal best.

In love you have made me. In love you exist to save me from myself, from my fears and from my distress. I will live confidently today because of this deep love for me, dear God. Amen.

Living with hope,

Molly

A challenge to change your thinking about life

2009-10-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

"Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will exult in the God of my salvation." - Habakkuk 3:18

To place our deepest hope in the One who knows the depth of eternity is to set ourselves on the strongest foundation of all. God wants only the best for us to have life and to have it abundantly. God offers the abundance to us and invites us to delight in it. How will you delight in this day God has given to you? How will you accept the love that lifts you above the everyday turmoil of this world? How will you react to challenges in a more healthy way? How will you find sacred meaning in even the most routine of tasks? When we think purposefully about these things each day and strive to do them - we will be amazed at the peace we will begin to achieve.

Lord, help me to rethink the way I approach each day. Help me to look at challenges and frustrations in a more positive way. Help me to react to them in a manner that lifts me higher, not pulls me down. I look for your guidance to set me on this better way. Amen.

Share your blessings with others that they may be encouraged.

2009-10-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

"No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house. " - Matthew 5:15

It is essential that we share the blessings we have been given. It is in sharing that we receive far more than we give. In this dark and difficult world, it is far too easy to see only the disappointments and frustrations around us. But that only makes our vision darker and of course, that's exactly what the enemy wants us to focus on. When we allow the light that does pierce the darkness to shine from us and through us, we change not only our own outlook, but also begin to influence the understandings of those around us. There are untold blessings in our midst. Take a few minutes today to write down your blessings. There is always something we can be thankful for. Remember the things that the Lord has done in the past for you. Remember His faithfulness. We can illuminate them and allow them to illuminate us to see the greater hope that God provides.

Lord, you put a light within me which warms and helps me every day. Even when I travel through this valley of illness, I realize I can help to shine that light all around me. As you bless me, help me to be a blessing to others in return. Amen.

While waiting, sometimes I get impatient. How about you?

2009-10-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

"It will be said on that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, so that he might save us. This is the Lord for whom we have waited; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation." - Isaiah 25:9

Most of us are not good at waiting. In fact, we probably all struggle with being impatient. I know that just when I think I've conquered impatience, it will rear it's ugly head again. We set our own timetables and are disappointed when things don’t go just as we’d like. Often, many of us blame God when life doesn’t unfold as we want. But in doing so, we forget something so utterly important …our timetables are not God’s. Our life and times are in His hands. We forget it is God who knows best, who offers what we need when we need it and whose timetable is the perfect one for us. Even when we don’t always understand God’s mysterious ways, we can be reassured that they are the ways to seek and to find.

My impatience gets in the way of my best interests too many times, Lord. I know I need to actively wait on you, and when I do, my needs will be wonderfully met. Amen.

Blessings,

Molly

A site recommendation for those dealing with cancer

2009-10-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

Early on when I was first diagnosed with cancer, a cancer survivor gave a friend of mine a book for me to read. It is written by Greg Anderson. It has truly been a blessing. It's called "Cancer: 50 Essential Things to Do". This man has been a 20+ years lung cancer survivor! He has an amazing testimony! Greg and his wife have created a website to offer encouragement to cancer patients. It's http://www.cancerrecovery.org/ . Please take a minute to peruse through this site, glean what you can from it, and be sure to get a copy of the book. It's well worth the money and time to read it. He really helps you gain perspective in dealing with cancer.

Blessings,

Molly

An update and praise

2009-10-01T17:11:00.000-07:00

From my heart -

God has been so amazingly good to us through this trial. I can't tell you how much we have all grown in our walk with him. Our faith is strengthened and we are so glad He held us up through all of this. I cannot recall anything in my life that has ever brought me to the bottom where I truly had to give up total control. THIS experience has been it for me. I'm hoping that through these updates you are encouraged to seek Him more. Don't wait until you have to have a "big one" happen before you give up and let Him be all He wants to be for all of us. A friend once said to me "I'd rather be prayed up and full of the Word before the storm, then to have the storm hit and be empty." This is so true!

The chest xray shows that everything is stable and this is what my doctor wants to see. He is so pleased with this news and how I am doing. He said I'm doing great and our prayers are being answered. I have to admit that when the report read "stable", I was a tad bit disappointed, just briefly though. It was because I was looking for some great adjectives like I got last time. I mean the words "significant improvement" like I read last time are pretty hard to beat. LOL! So, stable it is and what a wonderful, encouraging word that is. Praise be to God!!

I have to share with you what happened with my veins this afternoon. Nurses have trouble finding a good vein when they do my blood work, so I'm always asking for prayer whenever I have to have that done. My nurse, Judy, knows I have lots of folks praying when I come in for my calcium iv. She's a believer in prayer. Anyhow, I sat in the sun for about 10 minutes to soak in some vitamin d before I went inside the office. I went and sat down in my usual chair. She got her "stuff" together for my iv. I was talking to a friend I've made there so I'd get my mind off of what Judy was doing. Usually it takes her a few minutes, the vein might blow or she'll have to dig, but this time when I turned to look, THE NEEDLE WAS IN and I DID NOT FEEL it at all! It was a good vein, in fact today, she she said I had FOUR good veins she could've used in my hand. Folks, that just doesn't happen with me. So, the power of prayer and the warm sunshine is what she contributes to her easy job today. She said to thank you all for praying for my veins and for her too. :-)

I am thankful for each of you and for the prayers you pray for our family. God is answering them! I'm going to be okay and I am a survivor! God is good all the time!!

Living with hope,

Molly

2009-09-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

"He made my feet like the feet of deer, and set me secure on the heights." - II Samuel 22:34

It is our faith that enables us to be lifted up to heights we never imagined we could reach. Our faith enables us to find strength we never knew we could have, answers we never thought we could find and joy we never could have expected to experience. Our faith in a good, loving, compassionate and eternal God, equips us to know eternal wonder and infinite peace. This faith is our bedrock and our hope. We must never give up on its power to transform us so that we may triumph over the disease in our midst.

My mind can scarcely comprehend, dear God, what you do for me to deliver me from the ravages of cancer and its effects. But I know you are working without fail to give me much more than I could ever do for myself alone. Amen.

An update and prayer requests

2009-09-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post an update on me. I know it's been a while since I have posted one so I apologize for this being so long. I continue to feel good, am able to do everything I was doing before all this happened, my energy level is certainly back to normal. I am so very thankful to feel this good. I feel like my normal self again! The Lord has truly been good to me/us during all of this. He has truly carried me/us through this trial.

There have been times in the past few weeks that I've struggled with a boat load of emotions, thoughts, depression, but I know that was the work of the enemy. I've been reading a book written by someone who has been healed of cancer and the scriptures she put in the book. That has given me great comfort during this time. This has been a tough battle, but the Lord has been faithful. He has given me the grace and strength to walk through this. I'm so thankful for the scriptures that have lifted my heart and are helping me fight the battle of the mind. I've never had to fight a battle of the mind as hard as this one. Whew! But I KNOW that the Lord wants us to be happy and healthy and by His stripes we are healed.

Now, for the prayer requests:

I go back this coming Wednesday, September 30 for another calcium iv. Please pray that the nurse will find a good vein for the iv. I'm also thinking that I will be having another chest xray done before I see the doctor on Wednesday. I would truly appreciate your prayers in the upcoming week as I take another step of faith and get the chest xray done. Remember back in June, the chest xray said "significant improvement"? We were on a "high" around here after hearing those words. I think I floated on those words until sometime in July, then the battle of the mind crept in. Well, now I find myself getting ready to walk through the doors to get the next chest xray done. Pray against anxiety and that we would have increased faith for the journey. Pray that the results on the chest xray are even better than last time.

I'll update after next week's appointment.

I'll close with these words someone sent me this summer. I get goose bumps when I read this. Read it slowly and really take it in.

Andrew Seu challenges me when she writes, "When I pray, am I open to the possibility that God will not answer "yes" or "no", but this instead, 'You have no idea what's going on behind the curtain of your sensate reality, so you best had make up your mind once and for all--I do love you. Will you trust Me?' "

"Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Thy works." ~Psalm 73:25-26, 28

Living with hope,

Molly

A devotion I received.....

2009-09-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

"And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one." - Matthew 6:13

God does not give us this disease called cancer. God does not strike us with hardship or harm us through retribution. God seeks only to save us from destruction and deliver us from all that keeps us from living fully the life we were created to live. God simply wants us to know and experience the peace, hope, joy and love that God knows. When we place our trust in God and look to God in everything we do, we can begin to experience God’s ultimate will for us every day. In that we will be saved from evil and delivered from debilitating distress.

When I am in anguish and pain, I know I need to remember that you can deliver me from falling into despair. I know, too, that you can save me from my own destructive fears. O God, I need you today and I thank you for never leaving my side. Amen.

"Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant." I Corinthians 13:4

2009-09-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

One gift that cancer can give is the opportunity for us to reframe our attitudes and approaches to life. The realization that life on earth is finite and fragile can serve to propel us toward healthier ways of reacting and relating to the world around us. If we love the life we have been given and love the people who share life with us, we have the blessed prospect of living more humbly, less contentiously, more gratefully and less angrily. What a gift it is to live a life where peace prevails and grace abounds. Life is tremendously richer when we understand, appreciate and accept these gifts.

Dear God, sometimes it’s hard to realize that cancer can present any gifts. But the gift of reframing our lives is a blessed one. Help me to accept this gift. Help me to use this gift in life-renewing and life-affirming ways. Amen.

God is steadfast in our everchanging lives

2009-08-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

"The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word of our God will stand forever. " Isaiah 40:8

In this life everything changes. Our relationships evolve. Our circumstances alter. Our happiness ebbs and flows. But in this world of constant transformation, there are certainties that are never dependent on conditions, feelings or time. Those certainties are the promises of God, which remain steady, unwavering and true no matter what. God is always faithful. God is always loving. God is always concerned about us. God is always reaching to connect with us even when we are not able to reach back. God’s offer of help and hope is forever fixed on our well-being and on our healing from disease, despair and disappointment. That never changes.

O God, thank you for being so steadfast in a very uncertain world. I need your calm reassurance when everything around me seems overwhelming and unsettling. I am grateful you are here to see me through. Amen.

Abundantly blessed.....

2009-08-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

During this walk, we have received some incredible blessings, which is why I named this blog "Abundant Blessings". We have watched the Lord open doors and guide our every step. He has truly been faithful! He cares about our every need.

We have seen Him move in the provision of my oncologist. We *thought* we should see a particular one, but found out she didn't take our insurance. So, after our trying to open doors that shouldn't be opened, he closed them and opened the door for the oncologist I see now. The minute I walked in the door of this doctor, I felt God's peace. The staff is so attentive, the doctor's wife works there with him and she puts fresh flowers in the office and waiting rooms for the patients, there are Bible verses in each room and angel figurines in each room, reminding us that God is very near during our time of need. My doctor takes time with his patients, answers our questions, calms our fears of the unknown, etc. This is such a blessing!

We have seen doctor bills "paid in full". We have had people send us cards in the mail, people have called and emailed, and people that we don't even know have sent us cards and food telling us they are praying. The hand of God has truly been extended to us through the body of Christ. My husband travels during the day and just about every day, someone asks him how I am doing or tells him that they are praying for our family. That is such a blessing!

I don't ever want to forget what the Lord has done for us through this trial. He truly deserves all the praise for his abundant blessings on our family!

May He be glorified in our lives! Our greatest desire is that people will hear what He has done and that it will bring them closer to Him. He is no respector of persons. If He can do it for us, He can surely do it for anyone.

God's blessings on your day!

Molly

***********************

"Now to him who is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

An Encouraging Devotion to Share

2009-08-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

"And you will say in that day: Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known his deeds among the nations; proclaim that his name is exalted." Isaiah 12:4

Our attitude affects every aspect of our life. I know when I've been around negative people, I have to fight not letting them bring me down. The attitude we have about our life and what we're going through is sometimes a minute by minute choice. I must choose to not follow their path of negativeness. I must choose to shed that bad attitude and grab hold of a positive attitude so I can walk by faith. Walking by faith and being negative don't go hand in hand.

Gratitude. Thanksgiving. Appreciation. All are vital and necessary attitudes to possess on a constant basis. The more we recognize and affirm what God has done, is doing and assures us will be done, the more we face life and our personal challenges with grace, joy and peace. Make it a specific goal each day to know how God supports and upholds you. It will make a tremendous difference in the way you approach everyone and everything that comes your way.

Lord, with gratitude I look to you. With thanksgiving I come to you. With appreciation I place my trust in you, my Hope and my Salvation. Amen.

Urgent prayer is needed for this little boy! Please pray for him.

2009-08-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Please pray for this little boy. He will be three years old in a few days and was diagnosed with with mitochondrial disease a while back. He is not doing well at all tonight. His family are homeschoolers in South Carolina. His parents have a business called Hearts and Hands - http://handsandhearts.com/ . I know his parents would be most grateful for you to share this prayer request with others. They have been on quite a journey these almost three years.

You can follow his story at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/ourquiverfull

Blessings,

Molly

Just sharing some honest thoughts with you......

2009-08-01T04:41:00.001-07:00

I just got on to write a couple of posts about this week. I had scheduled the one below this one sometime last week and honestly, had forgotten all about it. Interestingly it posted on a day and week that I hit a brick wall with my own faith. It may appear to the outside world and those that know me in real life that I am handling this cancer well, and for the most part I am, but this week has really shaken me to the core. I just re-read that post and while all of the proper responses are so very true, I have to admit that I have failed this week.

This week I have been struggling. I'm scared, angry, sad, just can't even describe all that is going on inside. It feels like when we first found out about the cancer. I am trying to take captive the thoughts that are flooding my heart and mind. A friend reminded me that the battle is in my mind. I feel like I'm in a war to be honest. My mind is rushing with thoughts, not always good ones, my emotions are all over the place, and my heart is breaking with grief and sadness. I have to be strong and get over this hump. I don't want to waste what time I have here in this present state of being. Only God knows how long and I sure do hope that I will look back on this time several years down the road and thank God for what I've learned through this.

I went to the oncologist this week. He is encouraged with my progress and glad I am feeling good. He told me that unless God intervenes and brings complete healing, I need to prepare myself to stay on this medicine the rest of my life. I am thankful for the medicine I'm able to take everyday that will extend my life, but I sure don't want to take it the rest of my life. Of course, I will but I didn't want to hear those words. I am thankful I feel good and for the most part am able to function normally. I actually feel better this summer than I did last summer, which is amazing to me. The medicine does affect my digestive system and that is not always pleasant to deal with, but it could be so much worse. Don't get me wrong, I am truly thankful for the medicine, but when you hear these words, it shows you how dependent you are on medicine to keep you alive. I think the reality of this cancer has hit me in the face again.

So, if you think of me in the coming days, please pray for me as I walk this path. I'm asking the Lord to raise up intercessors, so if you think of me, that is because I just prayed and asked him to raise up intercessors. :-) Yesterday, an older lady friend was praying with me and while she was praying, a text came in at the same time, from a friend who was on a trip and just wanted me to know she was praying for me. God amazes me how He works! He truly cares about each and every detail of our lives. Now, if I can just believe it all the time. Pray for our faith to be increased.

May your day be blessed -

Molly

Preparing for the Storms of Life

2009-07-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

We all have storms that we face or will face in life. I saw this recently and wanted to share it with you.

Preparing for the Storms of Life -

After a storm has hit …

1. Natural temptation: Give up and go back to old ways
John 21:3 "I'm going out to fish," Simon Peter told them, and they said, "We'll go with you." So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

Proper response: Remain faithful and wait for God’s deliverance
Ps 37:34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

Ps 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

2. Natural temptation: Escape or drown sorrows
Jonah 1:3 But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD.

Isa 55:1 "Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. 2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

Proper response: Remain faithful to duties, and burrow deep into God for security
Ps 62:1 For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David. My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken … 5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

3. Natural temptation: Anxiety, fret, fear, and worry
2 Ki 6:14 Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there. They went by night and surrounded the city. 15 When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. "Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked. 16 "Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." 17 And Elisha prayed, "O LORD, open his eyes so he may see." Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Proper response: Trust God and enjoy the peace which passes understanding
Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

4. Natural temptation: Anger, resentment, and vengeance
Gen 34:1 Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. 2 When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and violated her … 25 Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male.

Proper response: Give out the mercy the Lord has given you
Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

5. Natural temptation: Grumble against life or God
Num 11:4 The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! 5 We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost--also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. 6 But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!"

Job 10:1 "I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul. 2 I will say to God: Do not condemn me, but tell me what charges you have against me. 3 Does it please you to oppress me, to spurn the work of your hands, while you smile on the schemes of the wicked?

Proper response: Accept the limited storm as from the Sovereign hand of the loving God
Job 1:21 and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." (Also Phil 2:14-15)

1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (Also Rom 8:28; Jam 1:2-4)

6. Natural temptation: Self-pity and self-exemption
Job 19:21 "Have pity on me, my friends, have pity, for the hand of God has struck me.

Proper response: Repent of self-pity as a sin, and do what is right
Job 42:5 My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. 6 Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."

7. Natural temptation: Self-reliance
John 18:10 Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) 11 Jesus commanded Peter, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"

Proper response: Choose to look only to God
Ps 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Ps 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.

8. Natural temptation: Consumed with guilt and shame
Mat 27:5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Proper response: Remember the Truth – Jesus’ death covered all your sins
1 Pet 3:18 For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God …

9. Natural temptation: Survive, endure
Mat 25:15 To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey … 18 But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

Proper response: Allow the trial to work godliness in you
1 Pet 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Excerpted from a 2-part message entitled "Preparing for the Storms of Life" courtesy of http://www.familyministries.com/

Praise You in the Storm

2009-07-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

You can listen to this song "Praise You in the Storm" on my playlist at the bottom of the page. It is a beautiful song.

Prayer needed for a homeschooling mom of 10

2009-07-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

Please pray for a homeschooling mom of ten who has been battling cancer for almost three years. She and her husband have adopted all but one of these children. A day of prayer and fasting is set for this Monday, July 27th if you'd like to participate. If you'd like to follow her story, she has a blog. It's www.faithfulpromises.com . You are welcome to share this prayer request.

Blessings,

Molly

2009-07-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

"Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock." - Isaiah 26:4

Throughout the scriptures we are reminded that God’s timing, understanding and will are not ours. That is, God has a way of acting in our lives and in this world that is far greater, supremely better and infinitely more perfect than anything we can imagine or design. It is when we connect with those ways God’s timing, God’s understanding and God’s will that we ultimately find the strength and ability we need to affectively face every challenge that comes before us.

Lord, I know my own limited attempts at overcoming my difficulties and rising above my weaknesses are never going to save me. But I also know that when I place my trust in your ways, I can find answers and help I never knew existed. Thank you for supporting me in my weakness, O God. Amen.

2009-07-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

"But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one." -
2 Thessalonians 3:3

What is the evil in my life? Is it the disease I am told I have? Is it unresolved anger and guilt? Is it self-absorption? Is it addiction to any number of things? Is it self-righteousness and judgment? Is it fear and lack of courage? Is it a weak character and deficiency of courage? Is it absence of faith? All of us struggle in one way or another with evil. It’s part of our human condition. But we have been given access to the Divine condition so we may rise above our weakness and frailty. Today is the day to resolve to connect with our Heavenly Father so we may find relief from the evil within.

Lord, when I begin to look beyond myself and my troubles and turn to you, I find strength to rise above it all and experience new hope in you. Thank you for your unending gifts to help me. Amen.

Cancer - A Gift?

2009-07-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

Early on after my cancer diagnosis, a friend came over to visit and pray for me. While we were talking, she mentioned that she thought my cancer diagnosis was a gift from the Lord. When she first said that I thought to myself, "A gift? I don't think so." But as time has gone on, I really have begun to see this as a gift. When you are diagnosed with cancer, you have to deal with your own mortality. Of course, we all know that life and death are two certain things that will happen to us, but hopefully, we dwell on life and not on the death part. I know for myself that before this, I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about death. Once I came to terms that ALL of us will die at some point and truly only God knows the number of our days, then I felt a release to truly LIVE each day, thankful for each day, enjoying each day. Cancer truly gives you a new perspective on life in so many ways. Things that were taken for granted, priorities that I thought were priorities are no longer on the list, time spent with family is so much more important, relationships are vital and not taken for granted. None of us knows how long we will be here on earth and once I grasped that, then I could move on and truly see the gift of cancer.

"You have heard; now see all this; and will you not declare it? From this time forward I make you hear new things, hidden things that you have not known." Isaiah 48:6

While there are undeniably untold numbers of challenges that cancer can bring, many also point to its potential for blessings. I can see cancer as a gift because it can teach me to make new and better priorities. It can reveal new strengths within me. It can show me new and healthier ways of living. It can foster new depths in my relationships. It can provide me a new understanding of our spiritual natures and of God. It can create in me a new level of wellness we had never known before.

There are new things I am learning day by day, dear Lord. Help me to reflect on these new things and allow them to bring new meaning to my life. Amen.

May your day be blessed with spending time with loved ones and making wonderful memories!

In Him,

Molly

An attitude of thanksgiving

2009-07-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

"Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth. " Isaiah 12:5

Our attitudes about life are so important in just dealing with everyday life and especially when you're fighting for your life. It is when we approach each day, each task, each person we encounter with an attitude of thanksgiving, then we begin to see more goodness around us. It is then when we allow more light to break through the darkness. It is then we begin to see hope rather than hopelessness. It is then we find answers where there were none before. It is a spirit of gratitude that must come first in our thoughts and hearts and minds. That spirit transforms our outlook and sets us on a path of positive action and results.

I praise you today, O God. I praise you for giving me this day to experience the joy of your creation and the wonder of your love and grace. Amen.

An awesome praise report.....

2009-06-30T17:11:00.000-07:00

Wanna hear some good news? We were informed that the radiation bill has been PAID IN FULL!!!!! This bill was definitely the largest bill we've received. Radiation is not cheap. This is an amazing answer to our prayers! The Lord has truly been so good to us! Thank you to each of you who have prayed about this with us.

I think this verse pretty much sums up what's gone on in our lives the past few months: "Now to him who is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

Living with hope,

Molly

Peace is a Person

2009-06-20T06:46:00.000-07:00

Someone shared this on our homeschool board recently. It is such a powerful message that I had to share it with you. I had never truly experienced this kind of peace until I was diagnosed with cancer back in January. I was walking with the Lord before all of this happened, but finding this kind of peace has truly been a gift. He had given me peace about situations before, but when this "storm" came into my life, the peace I've experienced has been a priceless gift. Sure, there have been days that I have had battles in my mind and spirit, but once I would get a new perspective by being encouraged by a friend, spending time worshipping Him or reading the Word, this peace would come back. My only regret is I wish I had learned this earlier on in my life, but I'm so thankful I have experienced it now. I pray this message blesses you as it did me.

Peace isn’t a place we live in.
PEACE is a person.

The house—and me—spins: laundry, school lessons, library books, basketball games, bills, phone calls, meals, dishes, women’s Bible Studies, diapers. Too often, I am dizzy: Anyone know how to get off? In the whirl of it all, I crave retreat, sanctuary, monastery.

On the milestone of my thirtieth birthday a few years ago, my sister-in-law presented me with a journal embossed with one simple word: PEACE. I cried. It was all I wanted. Just that one simple, frustratingly elusive word: PEACE. The homeschooling mother of (then) five young children, eight years of age and under, I was desperate, at a breaking point, for some place of serenity. I held the journal in my hands, lip trembling, tears streaming. PEACE. How could I find it? I had to find it.

I went for walks down through the woods, sat by the pond, journaled, prayed. Peace was short-lived, the angst tightening its relentless grip as I walked home: How could I fold art study into our school days? How could I make weekly, even monthly, date times with each of the children? How might I persuade the baby to sleep through the night so I could be a more attentive wife?
I went away to a cottage for a few days, read Gift from the Sea and soaked in the Psalms. Peace pooled around my toes, wetting me, quenching me…and then ebbed away again, lost at sea, as waves of worries flooded in: How could I balance my own creative, intellectual pursuits, my own spiritual growth, in the midst of the paramount endeavor of discipling these little people for the Lord’s glory?

I had thought somewhere quiet would ensure peace. It didn’t. I was still in my skin. Peace wasn’t a place I could find on a map, or even a place that I could create. Peace wasn’t a place to live in.

I came home to the noise, embraced the kids, and laughed loud and long. Peace wasn’t “out there.” He was here. Peace was a Person I could listen to.

No matter how boisterous and chaotic it gets in here, the Prince of Peace has moved in too, living here in the midst of this rambunctious, exuberant family.

In the rush and the roar of it all, I have to bend my ear to catch it:

“Listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to His faithful people” (Ps. 85:8).

He leans down low and if I choose to listen carefully, over the cry of the baby, the scream of the toddler, the stomp of the disgruntled student, and the beep of the stove timer, I hear His voice, low and soft: Peace… Peace…Peace.

I crawl out of bed, ready to get dressed and head out, not to some rustic respite in the mountains somewhere, but into the fray of family living. For “the Lord of Peace Himself gives [me] His peace at all times, and in every situation” (2 Thess. 3:16).

How to find Peace in the crush of motherhood? Peace may come fleetingly as a reviving, necessary place, but, like a fog burning off in the heat of the day, peace as a place will dissipate. For enduring Peace, look for a Person whispering the word softly to your anxious heart: Peace, peace, peace. Seek a Person, the very Lord of Peace, who is willing to give you his very own abiding, unwavering peace.

Places come and go; tokens and pictures tucked in scrapbooks. Tickets and reservations are expensive, the cost of coffee adds up.

This Person, though? He will never leave you nor forsake you, and is close as breath upon your cheek. Peace is a Person with whom we live, keep company with, commune with.

Hear Him now, above the din? Peace. Peace.

Lord, I find Peace, wherever, whatever, when I live in You. Please, Lord. Today, let Your peace fall softly, come what may.

Posted by Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience

2009-06-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

God didn't promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,
but he did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears and light for the
way. If God brings you to it, He will
bring you through it.

I put this saying on my outgoing emails setting about a year ago. I never knew how true it was until I was diagnosed with cancer this year. Take a minute to read through it and really hear what it is saying. Thank you, Lord, for your amazing love for each of us. Thank you that you care about each and every single detail in our lives and that nothing catches you off guard. A friend told me early on in this cancer journey that "there is no panic in heaven tonight". It's a quote from Corrie Ten Boom. I haven't forgotten it, trust me. Isn't it amazing that God knows every single detail about every one of US? Sometimes it's hard to wrap my mind around that.

May your day be blessed as you seek His face!

The race set before us....

2009-06-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

"Let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us". Hebrews 12:1.

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

We have a race to run with this battle against cancer. Everyday we have to make a decision. Are we going to run the race put before us or are we going to stop fighting? God has called us to persevere. He will give us the strength we need.

Let Your Mind Dwell On Things Above - Some random thoughts

2009-06-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

As the scripture tells us, "let your mind dwell on things above"...where the heart of the Lord is. As we've walked through the past eleven months, we have certainly been learning about taking captive our thoughts. Some days we have had to really focus on what is true. We have learned that He is passionately seeking us in this situation. He is not caught off guard by all of this and he's not pacing the throne room of heaven. As Corrie Ten Boom said, "There is no panic in heaven tonight." He has us securely in His grasp of absolute perfect love. It's so hard when we can't understand what He's up to when trials come our way, but I can truly tell you that our hearts have been consumed with His peace that surpasses understanding. From the human viewpoint it seems ridiculous to talk about peace at a time like this, but from God's perspective...this is a curve in His sovereign plan for us. That is what makes our perspective totally different from the world's perspective. The lessons we have learned and will learn through all of this are worth it. We have a sure faith in a loving God and the world has nothing. Praise Jesus that He is going to walk every step of the way through this with us!

We're praising the Lord at our house!!

2009-06-10T17:02:00.001-07:00

I had a chest xray done this morning. The radiologist report reads that there has been significant improvement in the right lung since the last xray was done!!! This is such good news to our ears! The oncologist was so encouraged and said, "THIS is fabulous news!" and gave me the thumbs up with a huge grin on his face. God has been so good to hear the prayers of His people! Needless to say, we are floating on a cloud right now.

I also had routine bloodwork done and all of that, but two things came back showing improvement, so that is a praise as well! The other two just need a little bit more work and they will be within the test limits. Both the oncologist and thyroid doctor were very pleased with what they have seen and said to keep doing what we're doing. I am also thankful that the nurse was able to find a good vein to do my calcium iv in this afternoon.

We are confident that He who began a good work, will be faithful to complete it. This journey has been an amazing one in so many ways. We can look back and see so many ways He has had His hand on the whole journey. He has been faithful and has never left us. When we felt like we were fighting the battle alone, we asked Him to raise up intercessors. Some of you have commented that "out of the blue" you would feel led to pray for us. We think those were the times we called on Him. Your prayers have held us up and we could not have gotten this far without them. We have truly learned that there is power in prayer. We are learning to trust the Father in a way we have never known.

I will praise You, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders.” Psalm 9:1

Living with Hope,

Molly

A devotion to share with you.....

2009-06-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

I received this devotion in my email box the other day and wanted to share it with you. I hope it ministers to you as it did me.

"I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, and I will not forsake them."
Isaiah 42:16

God is always in front of us to show us a new way when we do not know the way to go. God is always above us to pierce the darkness so that we may see what we need to see. God is always around us to help us walk with confidence when we find ourselves going in directions completely unknown and uncertain to us. God will always see us through whatever we encounter day by day. We have this everlasting and eternal assurance from ancient days to now.

Remind us that you do not forget us, O God. Remind us that you do not forget our fear and our pain. Remind us that you remember our needs and meet us where we are, to show us where we need to be. Amen.

I had to take a blogging break.

2009-06-07T14:36:00.001-07:00

After I worked on this blog, I got busy with finishing up another year of homeschooling. I am still homeschooling two of our three children. I have a rising 7th grader and a rising 10th grader. My purpose in having this blog is to be able to share what the Lord has done in our lives through our cancer journey. He has been so faithful to our family! He deserves all the glory for what He has done since the end of January. I will post more about this amazing journey in the coming weeks. I pray that this will be a blessing to you as I share how abundantly blessed we are as we go through this journey.

"I will lift up mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my strength? My strength cometh from the Lord which made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

Whew, what an exciting week it has been!

2009-03-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to update you on today's visit and the week's answers to prayer -

The doctor decided that we can use the medicine that we were hoping for! I will start it next week and go back on April 8 for a follow up. The drug is made for my situation and is not a chemo drug. It actually starves the blood supply to the cancer and shrinks it. We should know by April 8 if I'll have any side effects from the medicine, plus I'll get my monthly bone iv medicine then.

I'll go for a chest xray in four weeks after I've started the medicine. If it the cancer has shrunk, then we know it's going to work for me. If it hasn't, then I'll start chemo.

This week has been full of excitement as we got word that the Rx company approved the drug treatment. This drug is expensive, $4500 a month, and so people have to get approval from their ins. Rx company or use a drug payment program. We were doing the happy dance when we found out that we will have to pay $50 for a 90 day supply! Woo hoo!!! God has once again proven himself FAITHFUL in this journey!

Another praise is that I have slept two nights this week for 7.5 hours! This is huge as I've been sleeping only 4-5 since the summer. Yay!!

Some specific prayer requests: *Please continue to pray for us as we move forward. We have a race set before us that we need to run with perserverance. (Heb. 12:1) We often ask the Lord to raise up intercessors, when we are tired and weary. We can't do this alone!

*Pray that the drug has minimal side effects for me.
*Pray that the drug works so perhaps I don't have to do chemo.
*Pray that we will remember all that God has done for us.
*Pray that we will continue to have peace that this treatment plan will work.
*Pray that as I get off the steroid this week, that I will have no back pain or nerve pain. So far, so good for the pain. I have a lot of water retention, but I understand that is normal when coming off the steroid. It's suppose to fix itself after being off it in a week. I finish the tapering off on Wed. next week. Pray that it does, because it's uncomfortable. I feel like if somebody stuck me with a pin, I'd pop!

Our prayer is that we will be able to tell others our story, that they will be amazed at what the Lord has done and put their trust in Him. Pray for doors to be opened for us to share! My heart just keeps singing "How awesome is the Lord, our God!"

2009-03-14T19:37:00.000-07:00

My husband and I met with the oncologist yesterday. We are having trouble getting the pathology report that he really needs so we can know what kind of cells are making up the cancer. So, we spent some time discussing more medicine options, etc. IF I have the kind of pathology report that he suspects in my case due to the fact that I'm in my 40's, non smoker, kind of cancer it is, then there is a wonderful drug I can take by mouth each day and it has a great success rate. I've done research on it myself and read lots of reviews and seen lots of people have success with it. It disrupts the flow of blood to the cancer, so it will shrink the tumor. It works to get rid of the bad cells and allows the good cells to continue to build your immune system, so the tumor shrinks. We would watch it every four weeks with a chest xray and if it shrinks, we know it works for me. If not, then we would either continue using it and add in two chemo drugs, to get rid of it all.

So, we have some specific prayer requests with this update:

1) That we will get the pathology report in this week or by early next week (He works in Plymouth on Thursdays, so his office is open only four days, btw.)

2) That the pathology report is what he thinks it is, so we can use this medicine

3) That we can get the medicine cheaper through some pharmaceutical companies' drug program that works with his office or that our insurance company will be willing to pay for it at our tier level - either way, one of them would be cheaper as it's a very expensive drug

4) That I can start this drug next week. If I can't use this drug, then I have to get a port put in next week, hopefully then we'll start chemo as soon as the port is in. So, there's still some behind the scene work that needs to be accomplished before we start.

I mentioned in an earlier update that I was weaning off the bone steroid. Well, I almost made it through, but then I started having pain again, like before the radiation. I forgot that when they gave me the bone iv last week, that one of the side effects is bone pain, actually like growing pains in children. Well, that's a GOOD thing, that means the bone iv medicine is working. He had told me it would take about a week and today is a week. So, I'm now on 2 mg. of steroids and if I have pain, I'm to take 800 mg. of Motrin. So, that's a praise, the medicine is working and making my bones strong again! Yay! I'd like to get off the steroid altogether though, as that is what is affecting my sleep pattern. It has caused me to be almost hyper, even at 2 mg. It causes insomnia.

2009-03-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update you on our visit to the oncologist today. We really like him a lot!! He was very optimistic, encouraging, and believes that God is the ultimate healer! He was encouraged that I feel good, am eating healthy foods, have energy, haven't been sick this winter, show no signs of bronchitis or pnuemonia, no coughing blood, have never smoked, have lost 20 lbs. (not due to the cancer, but due to thyroid/adrenal FINALLY working), etc. All of this is too my advantage. He told me to continue doing what I am doing. Another praise is that the cancer is contained to my lung and is not in any of my organs. My organs are all healthy and functioning properly. Praise!!! It did spread to my bones, but that is why we did the radiation, to stop the cancer from eating my bones in my lower back. The radiation must be working because I'm weaning off of the steroid right now and I'm not in pain. So, that's good news! There is a bone medicine I will take each month starting this week through iv that will strengthen my bones and keep the cancer out of the bones.

We're waiting to find out some lab information so we can make a decision about what chemo meds to use, how aggressive to approach it, etc. We'll meet with him next week to discuss this further and possibly start chemo the next week. So, if you'll be praying for wisdom in making these decisions, we'd appreciate it.

God has been so very good to us through this whole situation! We stand in awe at what He is doing in our lives and how this is touching other people's lives. Your prayers are holding us up and we can truly feel them. We are experiencing peace that passes all understanding like we've never experienced before. May each of you be blessed for your faithfulness to pray for our family!

Trusting in Him,

Molly
__________________

2009-03-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to update you all on things around here. I have THREE days of radiation left so I'll finish on Thursday! It's gone much better than I had heard it could. For that, I'm thankful. The doctor told me he likes to spread it out over a longer period of time, doing less radiation per day so it doesn't affect your body as much. I have had a few afternoons of fatigue, but I took advantage of it and took a nap. I have given myself permission to nap if need be and not fight it. :-) I noticed a little burned area this evening, but put some aloe vera on it and it calmed it down. So, overall, this part has not been bad. I appreciate your prayers concerning this step. The best part I've noticed is that I have less pain. I'm able to stretch the time period of taking the pain steroid, so hopefully I can get off that medicine soon. I won't have to see the radiation oncologist this week as he will be on vacation, but I'll see his co-worker. I've been enlightened as to how the cancer doctors in the world work and that has shed some new perspective for me.

I talked to my primary care doctor this afternoon about meeting the oncologist next week. We discussed the oncologist's personality, work ethics, etc. He speaks very highly of the oncologist. He said all his patients that have dealt with cancer are complimentary of him, the way he handles each situation, his expertise of over 24 years, he will get in there and fight the fight with you, explains everything well, and he is compassionate. We discussed how oncologist attitudes can be. He actually brought it up and he said we would not find Dr. Abdallah to be hard to work with or incompassionate. He is very concerned about his patients and develops a relationship with them. This gives me a lot of comfort as we narrow our decision of who we want own our team. So, I think since these two doctors have a good working relationship, this might be our answer.

Our family is truly grateful for all the prayers, love, and concern you have expressed during this time. We can truly feel you holding us up to the Father and his arms are wrapped around us. He has been so very kind to us. It's been an emotional couple of weeks, but for the most part, it's been a very growing experience and that is a good thing. God truly has us right where He wants us. He's writing HIStory through all of us and we're learning to trust Him more and more. We're also learning how much He truly loves each and every one of us.

Hug your family members tonight, tell them you LOVE them, and treasure each new day, every single minute

2009-02-20T19:50:00.000-08:00

Someone shared this with me after my diagnosis. I have carried it with me ever since, so I can read through it when I need some encouragement. Take a few minutes to ponder on what it really says. It's given me great peace as I've walked this journey.

"There is nothing--no circumstance, no trouble, no testing--that can ever touch me until, first of all it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret--for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is--That is the rest of victory! -Alan Redpath

He is faithful and worthy to be praised!

2009-02-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

God has proven himself faithful to us in the past few weeks of this journey. The Body of Christ has provided a freezer full of meals, sent emails, brought flowers to cheer us, sent cards, visited with us, prayed with us, sent gifts in the mail. There is not a day that somebody doesn't make contact with us. We are definitely overwhelmed by the love of Christ that is being shown to us through the Body of Christ. There are days when all I can do is cry. I've never cried such big tears and they just fall out of my eyes. I wipe them and more fall out. I've never felt such love before and it is overwhelming. We feel the peace that passes all understanding as we walk this path. My heart is so full of peace that some days I feel like it will bust. Our lives are in His his hands. His ways are not our ways. This is truly a walk of faith and trust. Learning to lean on Him in ways never known to us before. We know we are being lifted up to the Father because we have such peace. In the beginning, we asked for prayer that the Lord would increase our faith. He has been faithful!

2009-02-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

"The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble,
And those who know Your Name will put their trust in You:
For you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You!"
Psalm 9:9-10

2009-02-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

The PET scan shows I have 4 cm size lung cancer. I've never smoked, but lived with two smoking parents. The cancer drained into my spine and began eating my bones. This has happened since October 19 until January 15. We can see the changes on the xrays. The previous two times I threw my back out in early summer, my spine was perfect and that was also in a location higher up in my mid back. So, the time I fell off the steps, the bones had weakened in my lower spine. As my primary care doctor said, "I believe God orchestrated that fall so that you could move on to the next doctor who could get you a diagnosis as to why you're still having nerve pain." It is truly amazing to look back and see how God has worked it all out. So, the recommedation is to begin radiation next Monday for fourteen days on my lower spine that is being eaten up by the cancer. They will also do a CT scan next week using a needle bioposy to get a piece of the lung cancer, so we'll know what kind we're dealing with. The doctor can figure out what chemotherapy he will use and that will start sometime in the next few weeks. We were surprised it was lung cancer since I've never smoked, but we are so grateful that it is small and caught early on.

We covet your prayers and are so thankful for the calls, emails, and prayers that you have lifted to the Father on our behalf in the past few weeks. The Body of Christ has truly surrounded us with His love and we are very grateful.

God has a plan for all of this and of course, I'd never have chosen this path, but we have full assurance that He knows what He is doing. Our lives are His completely and we will rest in His arms as He travels with us in this journey.

2009-01-27T23:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy day and I've been up since 3 AM, so I hope this makes sense. We didn't get the results we had expected on Monday at the orthopedist. Because they found four hot spots on the whole body scan, he is concerned that there is something eating up my bones. He says we have to rule out cancer somewhere in my body, so we'll go to the oncologist this Thursday at 2:20 and go from there. It was quite a shock to us. A friend of ours works at the ortho's office and he fitted me for a back brace, and prayed with us. The Lord reminded him of a testimony he had heard that really touched him. A woman gave her testimony and said when people would ask her what they could do for her, she responded, "pray for more faith" . She said that no matter what happens, she would need more faith. So that is our prayer request, pray for more faith. The ortho wanted me to go to my primary care physician this morning so he is in the loop of what is going on and to get a game plan.

My husband and I went to the primary care physician this morning and feel MUCH encouraged after talking to him. He said this situation does not always mean it's cancer. There are a number of things that can cause it (we didn't hear this yesterday). He said when doctors see this kind of report, they have to figure out what is causing the "hot spots" on the bone scan. They are required by the ins. company to hunt it down.

I also saw the chiropractor to get his viewpoint. He had reviewed my xrays from July and August. They were the same in the L5 area. He didn't do one in October when I fell because I could not even stand up straight when I came in. I got better, we didn't do another xray because I improved there wasn't any reason to. He has seen the MRI, CT scan, whole body scan results. He says there is a difference in what he saw in August xray and what he sees in the ortho's xray. There is definitely a compressed disc, which could've (probably) happened when I fell. He said when drs see "hot spots" they have to hunt for the cancer due to insurance reasons. It's just the process of what has to happen. So, that confirms what the primary care physician said this morning also.

We will go to see the oncologist on Thursday. Our primary care physician knows the oncologists there and that was a relief and answer to prayer.

We told the children this morning and they received it well. We told them that this is another opportunity to learn to trust Him more. Interestingly, they have been studying the book of James.

It's been a much better day and both of us are encouraged tonight about what we've found out today from the primary care physician and the chiropractor. I am not as bewildered by it all as I was last night. It was so hard to wrap our minds around the information we had rec'd. We both have peace tonight, praise God! We have seen the hand of God working today and yesterday. He is not caught off guard and he has our full attention! :-)

We appreciate any prayers at this time. Prayer for wisdom for the doctor and if there is something there that it would be found quickly.

Trusting in Him,

Molly

The journey began back this fall....

2008-01-26T18:50:00.000-08:00

On October 21, 2008, I fell down a step and hurt my back. We iced it and it felt fine the next day. On October 23, I could hardly walk, so we went to see the doctor, who prescribed some medicine for the inflammation. That medicine helped a lot. I went to the chiropractor for two weeks and it began to get better. In January, I still had some leg nerve pain and lower back pain that just wouldn't heal, so my doctor ordered an MRI.

2008-01-25T18:42:00.000-08:00

This blog is a journal of my life as I walk by faith through cancer. My hope is that it will be an encouragement to you as the Lord works in my life. May He be glorified as I record the journey.